She won't give my cats back!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2005
She won't give my cats back!
5
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 11:22am

Long story short - my now ex BF and & I broke up after five years together, 2 1/2 of which we lived together and had two cats. He moved to California, I stayed in Michigan but I had to move back in with my parents. They didn't want any animals in their house so my ex's parents offered to keep my cats until I got back on my feet.

My new BF wants me to move in with him and I want to bring my cats there as well. I called ex's mom yesterday and when I told her I was taking them back she told me

"We'll have to talk about that."

What's there to talk about?! They are MY cats! She told me she & her husband have become very attached and my cats have become attached to them as well. I know they're adorable and loving and I understand how painfull it will be to give them up, I've been away from them for a while. But she knew from the beginning that I would be taking them back.

She said "Well you haven't stopped by so I figured you had moved on." No - it's just strange to be at my ex's parents house after I have moved on and don't want to bring back memeories of what once was. His parents are great people - but I was on the verge of tears when she pretty much told me I wasn't getting them back.

My BF calmed me down after I got off the phone and told me we'd get them back - what am I suppose to do now? Has anyone else been in this situation? Any advice? Thanks!

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Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 12:57pm

Hi Tara_716.


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Registered: 12-01-2003
Sat, 06-18-2005 - 2:47pm
I think if they have been there this long it would be bad to move them and I would leave them and adopt new ones


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2004
Sat, 06-18-2005 - 9:49pm

If they have been living there for more than a few months I would say to leave them and do as others have said and addopt a couple new kitties.

The only other real option if the ex's parents are refusing to give them up is to take them to court. Which is quite an ordeal and not something I personaly would want to go through.

My suggestion is to start over with a couple of new kittens (even though you love the others and its hard to let go) and if you ever have to leave them ever again get it in writing that you are only leaving them temperarily and as soon as you can you will be taking the animals back. Make sure that both your signature and the other persons signature is on it. A witness to the agreement wouldn't hurt either.

Turdle

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Sun, 06-19-2005 - 8:32am

two questions: first, how long have they been at their house?
second,did you tell them that you were moving in with your current bf?

Both of these could figure into the situation. Depending on how long they have had the cats, as to how attatched they have become to them. And if they know that you are moving in with your bf they may not be receptive because of who they are, their may be some leftover hard feelings from your previous relationship. These are some things you may want to think about.

Let us know what happens.
If they won't give them back, you really should start over, honestly, don't fight over it, as hard as it is. It will be hard on your cats as it is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 06-19-2005 - 1:32pm
Okay here is my suggestion. Your bf's parents may feel attached to the cats, but they also have been paying for their vet bills, food and cat litter, right? Why don't you go to their house with your cat carrier and a blank check, tell them you really appreciate them caring for your cats and the expense involved and that you want to repay them. If they are willing to let the cats go, write them a check for whatever amount they say, (assuming it is reasonable). If they won't agree to this, I suppose you'd either have to go to court over the matter or just let the cats go. At least you'd know they are being well cared for (assuming that they actually still have the cats; for all you know they had the cats put to sleep and don't want you to know about it) Iri