Giving a cat a pill

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2005
Giving a cat a pill
6
Wed, 06-29-2005 - 10:22am
Cats:
1. Cradle cat in crook of left arm. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply presure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop in pill and allow cat to swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take fresh pill, cradle cat, holding rear paws lightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for count of 10.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously for 30 to 40 seconds.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set aside for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from underneathe armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow pill down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pills are not harmful to humans, drink one beer to take the taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. Throw away pieces of towel.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck, leaving head showing. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of Scotch, pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot.
12. Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.
13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table. Put on heavy-duty pruning gloves. Push last pill into cat's mouth followed by large piece of steak. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat. Pray vigorously.
14. Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room and sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat. Call pet store to see if they have any hamsters left
Dogs
1. Wrap pill in bacon and offer to dog.
Avatar for cl_lcni
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 06-29-2005 - 12:45pm

LOL I know many of us have felt like that trying to give our furkids a pill.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 06-29-2005 - 12:59pm

LOL, I've had the opposite effect when giving cats and dogs pills! My old dog would ALWAYS spit his pills out, even when I stuffed them as far back in his throat as possible (proof that the locking-jaw thing about pit bulls is a total myth - he didn't want those pills but try as he might, he couldn't stop me from prying his mouth open!) However if I gave him a handful of treats with the pill nestled in the middle of it all, he would usually just crunch it right up along with the treats.

The one and only time I've ever had to give a pill to a cat was actually for a friend's cat. She was having a hell of a time with him, but I was able to just pry his mouth open, stuff it down his throat, and no problem. I then became his official piller. LOL. Thankfully it was only for a few days.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2005
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 8:12am
I HAVE TO GIVE 2 CATS PILLS TWICE A DAY. DUSTY AND HECTER THEY ARE VERY GOOD I JUST WALK TO THEM AND OPEN THERE MOUTH AND PUT AT THE BACK OF THERE THROAT AND THEY TAKE IT. BUT I HAVE HAD SOME CATS THAT REALLY GIVE ME FITS YOU THINK THAT THAT HAD SWALLOD IT AND 10MIN LATER THAT SPET IT OUT. I'M GLAD DUSTY AND HECTER ARE SO GOOD BECAUSE THEY WELL BE ON THIS FOR THE REST OF THERE LIFE. JOANN

LOVE IS SHOWN BY DEEDS, NOT WORDS.

LOVE IS SHOWN BY DEEDS, NOT WORDS.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 9:28pm
How cute!!! In reality though if the cat won't work with me I hide the pill in can food. Donna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2005
Fri, 07-01-2005 - 6:35pm
I wish I could simply hide the pill in their food. It's more like wrap cat in towel, have DF turn on car, cram pill in kitty's little mouth, wrap towel around bloody arm and place finger in cooler with ice, rush to hospital, the cat can get his own darn self off the ceiling!
Peace,
Storm
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
Sun, 07-03-2005 - 9:31am
I have 15+++ cats, all rescues, and haven't got the medicine problem you have! I even treat the feral cat outside by hiding his meds in his food. What a cat you have, I'll tell you, when they get mad!!!!! Donna