not sure I really want this

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
not sure I really want this
13
Sat, 06-05-2010 - 10:31pm

well, I want to lose weight, but I'm not sure I want to have surgery. But I feel like I HAVE to have surgery, that I have no other choice to get healthy. I'm 41 and have never lost a lot of weight on my own, so if I haven't done it on my own by now, then I probably never will I would think. But I'm terrified that something will go horribly wrong with the surgery. That has been stuck in my mind for years, that if I have WLS that it will go horribly wrong. I know a lot of it goes to when I was pregnant with my twins, the ONE thing that I worried about was an incompetent cervix (1 in 100 pregnancies with twins has an IC) and of course I got it and lost my babies. Now I have an amazing son who I love to pieces and I'm scared I'll have the surgery and then it will all go wrong. I'm so worked up tonight over this, maybe because I have an appointment on Monday. I know I'm just rambling, but I needed to just let it all out. Does the fear ever go away? I just don't know what to do.

Thanks for reading.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 2:09am
Look, everyone that has had or considered WLS has had fears of the risk that they take are going to happen to them. I have talked to ppl that wouldn't change anything about their choice in WLS and other who have had horrible experiences. I am going to get the sleeve a girl I know leaked and almost died right after her surgery. Another girl I know had RNY gastric bypass and her incision was open she was internally leaking. They had to cut her open and massage her bowels back to life because they were dead. Their are always horror stories but I have heard far more success stories. Like

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 8:45am
Wendy I want you to know what you are feeling is TOTALLY NORMAL!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2004
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 2:30pm

I think fears are normal.

HW 278 SW 259
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2004
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 2:31pm

Victoria


Do you have diabetes?

HW 278 SW 259
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2007
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 5:05pm
No I don't have diabetes but it was a considering factor in why

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2004
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 7:18pm
that's why there are approval requirements in this country.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2003
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 8:22pm

Wendy - I'm going through that too. I haven't read what other ppl have posted so I may repeat. I'm with you that something horrible will happen, and the worst case will happen to me - I look at it this way, if I don't have this - the chances are of me seeing DD graduating highschool or college, getting married or even growing up are very low. Weighing that verses the chances of something bad in WLS - I like the odds better. You need to weigh your options and see what you can live with.

We're here to help and listen! HUGS!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2004
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 9:24pm

I'm actually glad you posted this, Wendy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2003
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 10:03pm

awww HUGS! You're about 5 weeks behind me. I remember feeling like you are. I still have my doubts, but I have had surgery before, and no problems with the anestitia. They are testing EVERYTHING about me, so I know I gotta be healthy enough to do this AND I TOTALLY believe, that when it's my time to go - I will go. Whether it's during WLS or sitting on the couch watching TV. When the Good Lord calls, it doesn't matter... I'll go!

Hang in there girl... I just keep thinking to myself, I wonder what life will be like this time NEXT year! =)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2006
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 11:12am

(((((HUGS))))) Wendy!! I'm sorry that you are still struggling with this. I know you have for the last couple of years when we've talked about it on our group. You need to make the decision for yourself and all I/we can do is reassure you. I will say that my support group leader said he told the surgeon that he was unsure at times and the surgeon always told him up to the point of anesthesia you can change your mind. Your surgery won't be tomorrow so you still have plenty of time to sort through it.


The psych eval may help you and if the psychologist feels that you aren't ready for the surgery they may even delay you stating that you need further sessions prior to surgery.


I was not a Mom when I had my surgery so I know I am coming from a completely different place than you are. I wasn't worried even a little bit. I knew that I hated being morbidly obese and not living my life that if something went wrong and heaven forbid I died than I would be ok with that. My life was just horrible prior to surgery. I wouldn't attend Army sponsored events with Mark or get involved with the family side of the Army groups. I didn't like to go out in public as I always felt I was the fattest person in sight. I could care less now. I love feeling great, looking great (in my eyes even though I'm still "obese") and being active again. I was AGAINST the surgery for a couple of years because I was uneducated about it. All I knew about WLS was that Carnie Wilson and Al Roker had it (and eventually Star Jones). Once I learned more and had my seminar I wanted it that day, lol.


At the seminar my surgeon (along with the other two in the practice) stated that they have lost ONE patient in their thousands of surgeries. The odds are so extremely low now as the surgery has been perfected over the years and of course the number of people having WLS has increased rapidly.


As far as wondering if the fear ever goes away I don't think it does for some patients. I had a woman in my support group who put it off once because she was really concerned but eventually had the surgery and she has done very well. She was diabetic and had really bad knee problems (was walking with a cane). Now I haven't seen her since September but she looked fabulous, was off of her diabetic meds and walking was so much easier for her. She is probably in her 50's but I'm sure she's added so many years to her life.


I imagine how scared you are thinking of Sammy being motherless but I want you to think about your health right now and honestly what you think your life expectancy is? I know for myself I didn't "maintain" my morbidly obese weight. I gained weight each and every year in between my cycles of Weight Watchers.


I hope this post doesn't sound too pushy or mean at all. You know how much I love you Wendy (like a sister) and we've known each other for 5 years now. I will support you if you have the surgery and even if you don't. I promise to be your biggest cheerleader no matter what you decide!!


Love you!


Melissa


P.S. Sorry this is so long.





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