Need Help with breakup!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2004
Need Help with breakup!!!!
3
Wed, 06-23-2004 - 12:49pm
Its been little over a month since he broke up with me. we were togther for 2 yrs. i understand why he broke up with me and all, but i need help to get over it. the situation that caused us to break up is someting i will always remember and it will always remind me of him, so its a little harder..i dont know what to do. i did tell him we cant be friends anymore, b/c it hurts too much. but does anyone have any tips, on how to stop crying all the time..its draining me emotionally and physically...he is not doing the same over me i know..so what i can i do to get over it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
Wed, 06-23-2004 - 3:21pm
sweetie--im so sorry to hear about your break up. i understand what you're going through, we've all been there, and the pain is overwhelming. i think you made the right decision telling your ex you cant be friends , at least not now. i think the best thing to get over somebody is the no contact rule--if you spend time apart, away from teh drama of your relationship, and rebuild yourself, maybe eventually years in the future you could be friends, but now its important to focus on yourself. dont call him, dont hang out with him. dont look through your old photos. dont keep reliving the memories. its time to look FORWARD.

how do you do that you say? i think what i've learend from myself and others on this board is that its a day by day thing. and its a back and forth thing. some days will be okay, some will be a lot harder. but time will make it all better. i know tha tmight not be what you want to hear, but i promise you with more time behind you, the days of crying yourself to sleep and feeling empty in side get fewer and farther between, and you will slowly grow into yourself again. you dont knwo what your ex is doing to get over you--and it doesnt matter. its about YOU now. in the beginning you have to be patient with yoruself. acknowledge that you're in pain for a legitimate reason and that its okay to be upset.

the next important step is to KEEP BUSY! if you allow yourself to sit around and ruminate it will only make things worse. do whatever takes to have fun again, you know? meet up with old friends, read, write, watch movies you've always wanted to watch, go out to eat, enjoy the summer. hang out in the park, take a weekend trip somewhere with a friend. maybe take an art class or a yoga class or something, just get involved in some kind of new activity. and talk to people. talk about what you're thinking, post on this board, get your feelings off your chest, vent and allow yourself to be upset because its okay !

just remmeber it DOES get better. i promise you, its all about time, and although right now what you're feeling is so suffocating and you cant imagine it ever getting better i guarantee that it will! try not to lose hope and keep posting on this board and sharing stories with us. this is a great support networkf or me and it can be for you too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2004
Wed, 06-23-2004 - 3:29pm
I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this... I am too. It's only been about 2 weeks but it hruts like hell. All I can do it talk to my friends and get support from this site. We broke up because of trust issues (mainly my fault) and he wasn't willing to work o the relationship anymore. I'm still crying my eyes out but eventually the tears will stop and the pain will ease. I survived the ending of my marriage with my first love and I know I can survive this just like you will too. It takes time to heal. We can do this together.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Fri, 06-25-2004 - 12:44am
Welcome to the board!! I'm sorry to hear about your break-up. Try not to be to hard on yourself though. Unfortunately I don't have any remedies for the emotional rollercoaster associated with breaking up...its something that will solve itself in time...annoying I know!! Just try and stay busy so you don't have to dwell on it as much. Remember we're here if you need us!!!













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