Lovers... and friends
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Lovers... and friends
| Fri, 06-25-2004 - 9:54pm |
It wasn't bad enough that I lost my very bestest friend in the whole wide world because of a breakup, I've now lost most of my friends as well. Somehow, in my heart I just KNEW this was going to happen -- I even had a dream about it (prophetic? maybe.) -- but I kept hoping against it. My roommate told me the other day that some of my and my x's mutual group of friends (the only really close friends I have) have been saying things about me behind my back and if they've been saying these things to my roommate, I'm pretty sure they were probably talking to my x as well -- apparently it hasn't just been in the last two months, but has been going on for some time. It makes me absolutely furious to think that they could have in some way damaged my reputation behind my back to the point where the man I love fell out of love with me!! It feels like my heart doesn't just have a hole in it, but that it's actually more of an enormous tear and the blood is pouring out into my body and filling me up and spilling out of my eyes and my ears and my nose and I fell like I'm lost in a world spinning out of control -- I'm moving forward but not really going anywhere -- and I'm so lonely I can hardly keep from losing my marbles.
Signatures On
| Sun, 06-27-2004 - 11:35pm |
I'm so sorry to hear about the "mutual friends" being so cold an heartless. I'm glad you're roommate had enough guts to tell you...it's hard to do that since most people shoot the messenger. If he truly loved you though...his friends couldn't sway his opinions of you and he'd defend you instead so unless they were saying you were doing something pretty bad then I wouldn't worry about that aspect so much and I'd definately cut all ties with them. Good luck!

| Mon, 06-28-2004 - 1:43am |
Thanks for your support Heidi... I always appreciate it. I think the hardest part of every day is when something wonderful or something interesting happens and I think, "Oh, I should tell Daniel about this" and then all of a sudden it hits me all over again that I can't... I don't just miss his arms around me at night, I miss his laughter too and his support and our fun inside jokes. I miss my friend (just like that country song).
| Mon, 06-28-2004 - 2:20pm |
Friends? They don't sound like very good friends if they are talking behind your back!! I think your roommate is a friend you should stick with! Show them all that you are strong and their words wash over you. If your boyfriend is going to listen to them and not confront you with what they are saying then he isn't very mature either. Did your roommate say what exactly they have been saying about you? If it is a total untruth, the next time you see them simply mention that you have become aware of their backbiting habits and then look around and ask which of them will be gossiped about next by the group? Hold your head up and find yourself a new friend that will be a true friend that cares about you for who you are.
