A battle between my heart and my mind

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2004
A battle between my heart and my mind
2
Sun, 06-27-2004 - 7:27pm
There always has been a conflict between my heart and my mind about my ex. the reason is that he is my first love, and i wish i knew y i loved him so much. my heart doesnt care about who he is, what he is, how he is, how he looks like, what he does, and how he treats me, nothing from that my heart cares about, it just fell for him so hard, that he couldnt take it, he couldnt understand my love for him or y i loved him. on the other hand my mind, my brain tells me what r u doing with this guy, what were u doing, why do u still want him even after he left you. i wish i can hate him for a little bit so i can move on faster and better, and not wanna be with him, but i cant.

so there is this fight between my heart and my brain all the time, about him. my heart tells me i want to be with him for the rest of my life, i dont care how he treats me or if he does good things for me,(he didnt treat me badly or abusively) just not good enough for a girl, although he treated me with respect all the time, he wasnt romantic or sensitve, but i didnt care about all this. well part of me did, which was my mind telling me to leave him, and i did but he came back to me and i took him back, couldnt wait for him to ask to come back. but again we broke up, this time he left me and broke my little heart, that loved him so much.

up until now after 4 months and a half, my heart still wants him and wishes he would just ask to be in my life, but my brain tells me ur better with what u r doing right now, u dont need him, he is not good for u.

in a way im happier without him, but in another way im so sad. i enjoy my time more without worrying about him hurting my feelings, but its still painfull somewhere inside, i feel empty withouth him. i thought i was done with the hurting, i posted a few weeks ago, because i met a new guy, and it was only the excitment in the begining, now i dont want to be with that guy.

sorry this is long i just wanted to vent, and i was wondering if anyone else in here has this battle within themselves.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Sun, 06-27-2004 - 7:37pm
I have the same battle. My heart loves my ex so much that it hurts to even think abou thow much i loved him. But my brain as well as friends tell me that im better than to be treated how he treats me. I wish one could win the other over so i dont go through the roller coaster ive been going through on a day to day basis. Its a hard thing, and i want some closing to this but it seems to not be possible. I want to know if i will end up being with him or if he is practice for some better guy. This seems like a workout for my heart, it is constantly aching now sometimes unbearable. im trying to do everything to get my mind off of it but it seems to not be possible. but yes i have the same battle and i hope some day both of our battles will end in a truse where we can love the same person in our heart and our mind.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Sun, 06-27-2004 - 11:17pm
Vent away, my dear, that's what we're here for!! It's natural to have that fight between your heart and brain...they seldom agree in situations like yours. But you'll get through this in time and your heart will stop fighting so much. Good luck and post whenever you need to!!













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