Breakup inevitable?
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| Mon, 06-28-2004 - 1:01pm |
But now, with his move, I feel like a breakup is inevitable, and I'm really sad about it. We've decided to stay together and "see what happens" but we both know the future is not very bright with distance that has no end in sight. I think we both realize that while our bond is enjoyable and fun, it may not be strong enough at this point to survive the distance. We're not at the level where me moving to be with him would be a good choice - we're just not ready for a step that large. I so enjoy him and being with him and I know that distance will be so hard, but we still may likely fizzle. I want to give it a shot and see if it can work. I think we owe it to ourselves and our relationship not to just give up. He agrees. But when I think about how it will be and how things will go, I imagine us drifting, he busy with his new career and life and me just having to keep going and live my life. It seems like trying it out, and weaning off each other, is a likely way to go.
I'm trying to be realistic, rather than anything else. But I feel hopeless and sad, like this relationship is just doomed. With the distance, it seems like my new long distance relationship may turn into the longest breakup.
Has anyone experienced something like this?

I am trying to enjoy our time now and not be sad, but it is difficult. I can't change the fact that he is leaving, no matter how upset I get. I am glad that we will try and not just give up - I think that, at least, is valiant. I will miss him dearly - I already do now because he is stressed and tired and nervous about the move and new job, he just doesn't have the focus on us. I feel very lonely, already. It is hard knowing in another few weeks I just won't be seeing him, that he won't be there. I can't stop by his house after the gym, I won't see him every weekend, I can't go over when I need to get out of my apartment. I have friends and hobbies, but he's been such a big part of my life, it will be an unwelcomed adjustment not to have him. And as I'm sure you both, and others on this board have and are experiencing, knowing I won't have him physically supporting and being there is hard. I won't be able to hold his hand or fall asleep with him.
You are right, if it has to end, at least it will on a good note. I'd hate for us to be bitter or angry after such an enjoyable and fun relationship. We will email and talk and I will go visit, but I know he will be busy and that our contact may not be as frequent.
These things happen, and I know it will get easier, but right now it feels pretty bad.
Thanks again :)