trust issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2003
trust issues
3
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 5:10pm
hmm lets see..where to start?

well my boyfriend and i have been going out for alittle more then 3 months and everything was going really good, except for this ongoing problem which i will get to in a second, we got along really good, we have so much fun together even when we're just at home watching a movie..however there is some trust issues that i have towards him.

you see about 2 years ago we had dated for about a month, maybe alittle less, he had dated one of my friends before me and at first it really wasnt an issue until he was going behind my back and hanging out with her *and lieing about it and also telling her to lie about it* when he knew all she would do was cause problems in the relationship.

me and her eventually drifted apart and haven't been friends for about 2 years and me and him hadn't talked for 2 years also until about february.

they did talk throughout this time however and they were really good friends and i know he cared about her alot and she cared about him alot.

they have went out a few times and i know she treated him really bad because she had told me *when we were friends, when they were going out* that she had cheated on him with his bestfriend and someone else, she used him for his money and treated him like he was her taxi driver.

now yesterday i got a phone call from my best friend telling me that my bf was with this girl at someones house with a few other people..he had slept there and drove her home, her bf had also seen them together and i guess my bf was picking her up outside some bar and he had called her cousin *who is pretty good friends with my bestfriend* and asked her where this girl *we will call NM* was.

well i was raging mad, i was throwing up because of the stress and i didnt eat a thing yesterday..i talked to him and of course he denied it all..now here is the problem.

this girl does not want us together, she is convinced that he still loves her and bla bla bla, you know the rest.

she lies all the time about everything, how she talks to him all the time and she will lie to her cousin about things because she knows she will tell my bestfriend and my bestfriend of course will tell me, i will get mad at my bf and BAM! she broke us up, that is what shes aiming for.

but i dont trust him with her, i dont trust him when he tells me he hasnt seen her or called her, talked to her at all! i think he's lieing and it makes me soooo mad! i dont know if i should believe these people, who i know lie and dont like me but it sounds so convincing and it might be true..and if i should trust what anybody says at all, no matter who they are.

should i just ignore what anyone and everyone says and start to trust him even when i sit there and think that it might be true and is so hard just to rub off my shoulders?

should i break up with him even though i might be wrong and she did her job by breaking us up? what should i do?

he told me yesterday not to let her come between us, he loves me and cares about me...he doesnt talk to her and this is why..

i'm just so stuck!

i think he is lieing, but i think she is lieing.

thnx for anyone who read this, i know its long!

signed,

confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
In reply to: ariannabelle
Mon, 06-28-2004 - 9:55pm
I think I would wait until I catch him red-handed since you don't know who to trust in this scenario. And if you don't catch him and it turns out he hasn't what has been lost? However, will you still have trust issues if in the end he hadn't?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
In reply to: ariannabelle
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 5:27pm
Welcome to the board!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
In reply to: ariannabelle
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 12:14am
Trust is the key to any relationship. If you do not have trust - you do not have anything. The beginning of the relationship should be wonderful... it is way too early to get involved with drama. Good luck!