We broke up- I'm looking for support
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We broke up- I'm looking for support
| Mon, 06-28-2004 - 10:22pm |
Well, my bf and I have been together for a little over 3.5 years. I'm 22 and he's 28. The main issue in our relationship was my lack of trust for him (with good reason) and him getting annoyed with my checking up on him. About a year or so ago, I found out that he has subscribed to an online dating site. He was checking his email when he was sitting next to me and I saw it on the screen. I questioned it and he denied. I had him open the email, and sure enough, it was a user name and password. Once he fessed up, he said he was just curious, and that he wasn't planning on talking to anyone. All through our relationship, we've had communication problems as well, which doesn't help. I always want to talk about things right away, and he doesn't want to talk right away, if at all. That drove me nuts. Well, this past weekend, he was to call me when he get out of a concert so I could meet up with him and his friends, and he didn't call. I called him, and when he called back, he said he was drunk and forgot, and never showed up at my apartment that night (he left a message on my phone telling me this, but I was already asleep. This was the second time that week, which hasn't happened since I moved out on my own). The next day he came over, he was taking a nap and I looked through his cellphone (when the online dating thing happened, he told me I could check his phone, email, whatever it took for me to trust him). Well, when I questioned phone calls he made to his friends after the concert, he got mad about me checking his phone. It was all downhill from there. He left my apartment ticked off, and then he came over tonight to pick up his things. I asked where we were left, and he said the relationship wasn't working. I told him he was right, and that I couldn't be in a relationship with a man I couldn't trust. He said "That says it all right there". He swore he hasn't done anything since then, and that he really regreted ever doing that. I asked where it left us, and he said that he can't imagine having me as anything less than a bestfriend. Does this ever work? He left, on good terms I think (he only stayed about 20 min). I feel so empty inside though. Everytime I think about not ever being with him again I just start to cry, and it's only been a couple of hours. What are the chances that a couple of months down the road we'll both wake up and be able to work things out? I really hope I find the strength to get through this... and I would appreciate any help and advice you guys could give me. Sorry this is so long, and thanks in advance.

I really feel bad for what had happend between you and your boyfriend 3.5 years in a relationship is not easy to just leave it and continue life as if theres nothing happend, i experienced the same ive been in a relationship with my ex for about 2.5 years, i also encountered the problems you've gone through, im still in a process of healling, at the 1st week or month of being broken hearted i really dont know where to start, i cant eat, i cant sleep and evernight before going to bed i cried alot..but as time goes by i realized that i shouldnt ruin myself, try to make yourself busy, dont think too much, go out with your friends, avoid listening love songs.. go gurl you have alot of options in your life dont waste your time to someone who doesnt deserve your love.. take care and goodluck!!!
sheenie
I understand your pain. I love my ex girlfriend so very much, and I care for her a whole lot, but I made a mistake that I regret til this day. I lied about my age to her by 3 yrs, and I streched the truth on what my dad did for a living. I was always faithful to her, and she knows that. I cried for many weeks, and asking her if we could work out our problems. i promised to change for her, and even now I want to regain her trust in me. i hope she will give me a chance even if we are not going out. well, i am sure everything will work out eventually. you have to be strong in times like these. i have learned that people who abandon someone they cared for are not worth taking back.
manish