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He's online
| Tue, 06-29-2004 - 12:25pm |
He's on line right now. I haven't seem him on line in the past two months since he broke up with me. I want to talk to him. It is taking all my strenth not to do this. He hasn't taken me off his AOL IM list. I am shaking. OH MY GOD!!

Don't talk to him. You have been doing so well. Can you block him from your list? Stay strong and focused on your healing and growth. Get off line if you have to, but don't talk to him. I know it's probably really hard for you right now not to email a simple "hi," but its not worth it. Post here whatever you would say to him. Good Luck!
I know I should block him from my list but I can't or from any where else actually. That would make it so final and although I have come a long way, that's a step I am not ready to take just yet.
but you HAVE to take him off yoru buddy list. why? because seeing his im name on your list keeps him in your face, keeps him in your present reality, feeds all of your fears and insecurities and false hopes, and prevents you from moving forward.
i realize this is a very big step.
but you know what you always have to remember--goodbye for now is NOT goodbye forever. you take him off your buddy list now, maybe in a few months if you start feeling better about yourself or your life, you can put him back on. it doesnt help you during the healing process, THAT is all im saying. it didnt help me, it didnt help me to read his away msgs or his livejournal, it just made things worse. but the idea of losing him forever was so much scarier, the idea that i didnt kno whow he was or what he was up to--that KILLED me.
but i know my bf is alive and keeping busy. i know that one day i CAN call him if i need him becaue his # hasnt changed. i CAN email him if i want to because i still remember the email addy. and i CAN re-add him to my buddy list when i feel like i can handle it. and you can too. you're not going to lose your ex forever unless you want to. its only right now that you have to remove him from your life because you'll never feel better if you dont.
2 months is not a long time, its not time enough to be over somebody. im VERY proud of you that you didnt im him becuase i know that must have been torturous to see his name on your IM list and do nothing about it. stay strong and be patient with yousrelf, but please try your best to take the steps necessary for your recovery right now.
good luck and please keep posting we're all here for you :)
Kir