if he came back to you...?
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| Wed, 06-30-2004 - 10:57am |
So I'm going to start, and if anybody else thinks it would help them to vent, do it here! you dont even have to read this guys, im writing it for myself, but if you do read it and chose to resopnd that would be cool too :)
ex bf: take me back, i've realized the error of my ways and would like to return to your sweet sweet embrace
me: you know i cant tell you how many times i wished that you'd come back. those first 2 months--i woulda given anything to hear those words and i woulda taken you back without thinking twice. but now its like...you're sitting here saying this to me and im realizing just how badly i DONT want to be with you. we had such a great relationship and you threw it all away for no reason! what we faced in march--that was normal growing up stuff. thats what your twenties is about, constant change and revision, and every time somethign goes a little off kilter in your life you're not allowed to run away and think, you have to step up to the plate. you were always so good to me, but by ending things when you did, for the reasons you did, you proved to me that you're a coward and a quitter. "tis better to have loved and lost" is not an excuse for non commital frivolity; you're no more capable of handling things now than you were then. i was ready to take a break--what happened in march was the first time we'd ever faced anything and you just gave up! and we're going to face more sh*t and more sh*t, because relationshps are constantly being tested, and knowing that you're a quitter it tells me that there's no point. if we get back togheter, we'll probably have a great summer, and then school will start again and you'll be SO busy cos its your senior year and all your friends will be back and you'll be doing your thesis and once again, you wont be able to handle it all and you'll give me some lame excuse and break up with me.
i was so loving and supportive, when you were going through stuff i was always there. i loved you with a reckless abandon that most people are too jaded to be capable of nowadays, and when i needed you to be there for me, you bailed. i cant be with somebody i cant count on.
i dont believe that you're willing to put the work in to regain my trust. You dont believe in what we have, you dont try, and you're not of the mindset that giving up is the last option. you and i are fundamentally not on the same page in that respect--youre approachign this as a learning and growing experience, im approachign this as a chance to really be close to somebody. but all i am to you is a vehicle for your own self exploration, and thats not fair. im not going to get back together with you just because you miss me."
PHEW!! i think tahts everything. you know if this scenario actually had to occur i have no idea what i'd really say, but just writing all that out did remind me of the main things i've learend since my break up.
part II of this venting:
things that suck about my ex:
-he's a quitter
-he's really melodramatic--sometimes he sounds like a character from Dawsons Creek, except we're not 15 year olds, so its just so har dto take him seriously when he gets like that
-he's always complaining aobut how he has no money
-he's a DORK! and now i NEVER have to hear that cheesy impression of Agent Smith from the Matrix again.
-he's a whiny little b*tch if he doesnt get exactly 6-8 hrs of sleep.
-he's so MOODY.
i know there's more, but for now thats all if eel like typing. this really helped me--you guys should write your own response & list as well
:D
ace

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"The big hurdle I haven't been able to get over is your reaction to my cancer. From early December, when I first found out there had been a mistake in the "all clear" letter and that my condition had actually worsened, I've felt alone. I was devastated, terrified, worried about the implications for cancer with my family history, worried that I'd never be able to have children, even worried that sex would never be the same if I had to have a hysterectomy. I went through a painful, scary, and undignified biopsy procedure alone, because you were "too busy" to go with me. I passed out from the shock of the procedure, and afterwards, pale and shaken, emotionally and physically, I drove myself home alone. When the doctor told me I'd have to have surgery, surgery that would very likely make it difficult if not impossible for me to ever have children, I felt alone. I asked you outright if you would come with me to the surgery. You told me that it was "a private thing between you and your doctor," and that you weren't comfortable going. I pleaded wtih you, asked if you could at least go with me and wait in the waiting room, drive me home from surgery, you claimed to be too busy at work, and I went alone. During and after the surgery, strangers at the hospital held and comforted me, not you. For God's sake, even my ex husband offered to go with me to the surgery when he heard about it.
The surgery was Tuesday. On Friday, I was out your house watching TV when you started groping at me, clearly interested in sex. Now, we talked many times prior to the surgery about how I'd be unable for at least a month for healing after the surgery. By Friday, I was still in some discomfort. I was also emotionally drained with fears about cancer, about fertility, even about whether having sex with me would be the same afterward, if it would feel different down there. Not an exaggeration to say I've never felt less sexy in my life. And I needed you, need you to hold me, needed you to understand and to be strong and supportive of me. But there you are, oblivious, pawing at me, whispering in my ear about your "needs," and when I outright say, not now, you suggest I can do something for you even if I can't have sex. I was appalled and hurt. Throughout the month following the surgery, while I worried if I still had cancer, if the surgery had made me infertile, etc., you continued to pester me for sex. You were frustrated and impatient with me, bored with all the cancer talk. I didn't understand. On Valentine's Day, I'd warned you in advance that I wasn't feeling up to much activity, and that there'd be no roll in the hay. After dinner, you told me there was no point in me spending the night. I felt like spending time with me meant nothing to you if it didn't culminate in sex at the end.
Moreover, it really hurt me because being intimate with you has always been such a wonderful experience. Never, before I met you, have I ever felt so close to someone in bed, never before have I really understood how incredibly different it is to have sex with someone you love so much. Because that aspect of our relationship was so important to me, it hurt me very badly that you seemed to want sex without any regard for my feelings. It made me feel incredibly cheap, like I'd been investing the sexual aspect of our life with so much more emotional significance than you had.
How could you have let me face this all alone? How could you have behaved so callously? As my lease expiration approached, I tried so hard to rationalize your behavior. Maybe it was my fault, maybe you had some medical trauma that made you unable to respond properly to my circumstances, maybe it was just stress from work. But every time I thought about a future with you and everything that entails, from great joy to great tragedy, from having a family to having to deal with illness and other hardships, I just couldn't see you being strong for me, I couldn't see you standing by me, I couldn't see you being there through good times and bad.
I know you think I've been a complete failure as a girlfriend. I guess that, even if it's true, I'm tired of feeling that way, and tired of being in a relationship but having my needs for emotional support fulfilled by others, even total strangers on internet support groups. Mostly, I know that in six weeks or so I'll find out if it'll be another round of biopsies, another surgery that will certainly leave me infertile, another round of fear and pain, and that I can't go through that with the added burden of worrying why you don't love me enough to support me now. I love you with all my heart, I can't imagine living without you, but it hurts too much to be with you."
That's still true, every word of it. Even if he came back with a dozen apologies, it wouldn't change a thing. Sad, but I think I have finally come to accept that there's no unringing this bell, no apology that can undo it (not that he's offered a single apology, by the way), and no way to clear away this ugly episode other than to leave him in my past.
- his behavior during my cancer thing
- he was profoundly, deeply uninterested in me as a person - I bet he couldn't tell you where I grew up, my siblings' names; didn't care about my life or my feelings; he insisted he loved me but seemed bored by me
- "quid pro quo" - the motto of his life - he never did a thing, in life or in bed, without expectation of something in return
- he was chronically unhappy - always such a downer
- he's bitter and resentful - he told me after our breakup he hated me and our relationship was awful
- he has a martyr/victim complex - everyone is doing things to him, he has no responsibility/accountability for anything in his life, and chooses to tell his life story with him always the poor victim (every woman he was involved with was evil and broke his heart, never his fault)
- he had terrible road rage
- he had a terrible rage problem in general, I kept waiting for it to surface with respect to me
- he's passive-aggressive to shocking heights
- he's rude to waitstaff and salespeople
- he's humorless - he always nipped fun and play in the bud, couldn't just have a pillow fight or something
- he took himself very seriously
- I made more money than him, and he couldn't deal
- I'm smarter than him, ditto
- gifts - he got me shiny things he thought I should like, not thoughtful gifts based on what I actually *did* like
- birthdays - his, an elaborate plan with gifts and options researched months in advance; mine (while I had cancer), no reservations and more than an hour driving around with me in a dress, looking for somewhere we could get in
- I wasn't "romantic" enough for him - he wanted to be Cinderella
- he wasn't romantic enough for me - I'm supposed to be the one who wants to be Cinderella
- I planned romantic, surprise getaways for him based on an intimate knowledge/understanding of him and his likes/dislikes; he never planned a single thing for me
- he was incredibly needy, felt incomplete without me, needed constant reassurance, wanted me to fill in the "holes" in his life, he wasn't happy/comfortable with himself
- he smoked, had yellowish teeth, got really testy if he had to go for a couple of hours without a smoke
- Political science is not the exclusive or highest achievement of Western civilization - how about reading a book that's not about Marx, for a change?
- try to read *some* fiction, especially the classics - I'm a lit major, I'd like to be able to talk about something I enjoy, too
- he's not adventurous - terribly suspicious of anything new, be it travel, cuisine, sex
- his friends are shallow and obnoxious, or they're teens (he's 30, and a lawyer)
- his car - come on, he's modifying his car to drag race, at 30? a laywer??
- he's a mama's boy
- he's 30 and never married
- every ex-girlfriend of his crosses the street to avoid him (add me to the list)
- he's a quitter
- he's immature and probably incapable of making a relationship work
- he's incapable of ever apologizing for anything
- he's the only one with feelings, it's all about him and his needs, even when I had cancer. he just marvelled over his feelings, as if he were the first person ever to have them, and we had endless talks about them.
- "off the table"-itis - some things we just couldn't talk about, including my job, most of my interests, any of my opinions with which he did not agree; he'd interrupt and change the subject, even say he was "bored," then defensively say he was just trying to be honest and to share his feelings, as if he deserved a medal for that.
- he was a big guy, but had a smaller-than-expected penis. not that I've "been around" that much, but it was the smallest I'd ever encountered. he needed constant reassurance about it. he put off having sex for a long time to rope me in emotionally before the big reveal.
- sex - he couldn't let me be in charge, wouldn't try anything new, made me feel slutty for having more knowledge or more adventurous approach than him
- sex - he was only ever up for a single round
- first time around usually too rushed
- we had lots of sex (basically every day) and great chemistry (hey, it's chemistry, skills notwithstanding), but he always complained it was not enough and implied he'd leave me
- terrible "south of the border" skills - where did he get the idea his chin should be involved? 5 o'clock shadow, that's all I'm saying.
- he was really bad in bed when I met him, I taught him so much (he said "I'm finally good in the sack" and talked about being with girls who would just lay there like they were asleep, as if that were their problem). now he's back on the market with new skills, makes me angry.
- his back - he had backne scars, weird moles, and his last name tattooed on his back
- he was too sleepy - I'm a night owl, he'd fall asleep in movies
- he snored louder than I thought possible for a human being
- he didn't like my dog, and apparently couldn't even remember her name after almost 2 years together
- he had bad taste in music - venture beyond 80s punk rock, please
- he had bad taste, period
- he would pass gas anywhere, anytime - in bed, at work functions, after sex
- terribly messy eating habits
- he didn't always flush after going to the bathroom, including "number 2"
- he had out of control nostril hair
- he had really small, girly teeth
- he did this foolish jerking dance where he would grunt "ugh" and swing his arms around
- he had a speech impediment, got speech therapy as a kid and you couldn't tell when he was sober, but had a terrible lisp when drunk, sounded gay, and guys would hit on me at bars assuming he was my gay friend
- he's so compulsive about cleanliness and his clothes that even *I* wondered if he were gay or bi
- he called me "Ms. Lastname" for the first two years we knew each other, and kept it up after we started dating, including after we'd slept together
- my friends thought he was fake and creepy
- we broke up once before (he left me), and he kept bringing it up, how I'd fought for him and for us, kept a "please reconsider" gift I'd given him on the nightstand where I'd always see it (his reaction to that gift at the time? to laugh at me at how ridiculous I was being)
- he lorded over me that I'd loved and wanted him more than he needed/wanted me, that I'd fought for us to reconcile after the first breakup, and constantly implied he could easily walk away from me.
- he apparently has easily walked away - I left him after almost 2 years, on the eve of moving in together, because he acted like a jerk when I had cancer. Never an apology, never a "take me back," nothing.
- he has a dark past he concealed from me for over a year - he was a heavy drug user (ended up in rehab), dropped out of college for a while, has an arrest record
- his middle name is "Ray" and his family is Appalachian white trash
- he told our mutual friends we broke up because I cheated on him (I NEVER DID)
- he always has to have the last word, or look like he's the one who left me
Hm, there actually may be more, I just posted this from my list, that I keep on my computer and on index cards for reminding myself.
Hopefully soon, I will have an appropriate response to my ex if he came back, honestly I don't know how strong I would be at the moment but I'm getting there! Thanks for your posts.<>
i realize that compared to a lot of women on this board my break up is really quite...er...lame. i mean there is somethign to be said for gaining perspective via downward comparison--you realize how awful some people have had it and you're like "you know what? this coulda gone so much worse".
this morning when i posted this thread i was in a weird mood--i was suddenly, inexplicably, remembering my ex and having all these happy memories come back to me and missing him and thinking of how cute he was and wishing i was with him in a way that sickened me. i posted it hoping it would cure me of my temporary blindness, tha ti could remember the things that sucked about him and stop fixating on him. i havent had a day like this in a while actually.
and now htis afternoon i've calmed down quite a bit. i have a few more things to add to that list:
-i always felt like i was living in the shadow of my ex's EX. his high school gf, apparently the 2 of them had this picture perfect idyllic small town romance, a la don henley's End of the Innocence. barf. if she was so damn perfect for him he woulda dumped her and ignored her for almost 2 yrs of his life before finally apologizing her and giving her the closure she deserved. he felt so guilty about the way he handled that break up, rightfully so, but i CERTAINLY didnt need to hear about it as frequently as i did. it is good that he felt guilty, but its been like 4 yrs since they got together and it took him like, until NOW to really appreciate what she was and what they had. thats despicable.
-he spent lots of time w/ my friends but i never spent any time with his. although i practically lived with his roomates, i never really hung out with any of his friends. esp his close female friends who lived upstairs from him and were so unbelieavbly gorgeous and who apparently have been such a comfort to himn since our break up those bitches (heh, im sure they're very nice, im just projecting here)
-he and i both prided ourselves on our sense of humor--we're very wry and sarcastic but he was constantly taking it too far, saying things tha tjust werent funny anymore, or being sarcastic so often that we'd have entire conversations just making fun of each other. which at the end of the night didnt leave me feeling very good, no matter how much he was kidding around.
-he's a coward. the only reason the break up even occurred when it did is because i sensed him pulling away and i was desperately a fraid i'd done something wrong. when i brought it up to him i was looking for some validation, some reassurance that nothign was wrong with me, that everythign was fine and he loved me. instead i got the "i've been thinking about this for weeks, i think we should break up" speech. god knows how much longer we woulda gone on half assing things if i never brought anything up.
-he abandoned me when i had been there for him. he was going through a depression for a few months over a variety of things, and i tried my best to be understanding & supportive. he was always very grateful and loving towards me and i stupidly felt like there would be a time when i needed him that he'd be there for me just like i was being there for him. and then that time came--i graduated college, moved to my parents' house for 2 months, 1 of those months my father was in the hospital in critical condition (he has a very bad heart, the doctors say he's essentially a ticking time bomb--but he's back for now anyway). i moved back to new york, and started my 1st full time job. and 1 week later he breaks up with me.
its not a life or death scenario, but it is SO SO f*cking scary to face the real world on your own for hte first time. as autonomous and intelligent as i am, as well as i know this city, as qualified as i was for this job, i suddenly felt like i didnt know what i was doing, i felt totally small and alone in a huge world and completely lonely and disconnected from everybody. i was unable to assert myself with confidence the first few weeks at work, i was constantly running to the bathroom for crying breaks. it would have been a hard adjustment with our without my ex, but it was made infinitely harder with a broken heart.
-he was VERY VERY cold to me at the final break up. when we discussed thigns over dinner , he was crying, he was upset, he said he didnt want to lose me but he felt like we needed to take a break. then 2 weeks later he's sitting across from me in a coffee shop basically saying "im sorry, i cant do this anymore and thats that". no emotion, no response. like hte had spent the previous 2 weeks totally distancing himself from me and everything, when there i had been every day trying desperately to think of ways to save us and he was avoiding it.
i think thats everything for now. i might have more and i'll post it later. it really helped me to just do that--for most of our time together until those last few weeks, he was always really good to me. im a little blinded by that cos i try to remember the hard times and i come up empty. but right there, the break up, the way he spoke to me, the way i felt at that time and how he probably had no IDEA how i felt becuase he was so wrapped up in his own discomfort, like a crying baby who needs his diaper changed he wanted to get rid of me and not think about it anymore.
i couldnt take him back. i cant imagine what the heck he could ever say to me to get me to. but its irrelevent, because we've not spoken. and should he ever mkae the attempt, well...i guess you'll all see if i can put my money where my mouth is :)
thanks for letting me vent. i want everybody else to vent also, tell us what you'd say to your ex if he wanted you back, and tell us some things tha tusck about him
--interupting me when I brought up something he didn't know anything about, even when i was talking to someone ELSE in his vicinity who was interested. Full on cutting me off in the middle of some elaborate idea with some random goofy yell or something. I proofread his 100 + page engineering THESIS and listened to god knows how many monologues on non-hydrostatic pressure and modeling software, things i honestly couldn't care less about, but tried to act interested and understand. The main thing I couldn't talk about around him was classical music, which is a huge part of my life and very important to me and most of our mutual friends are involved in it. I guess because he doesn't know anything about it, and has to be the expert in every situation, it made him feel threatened. but also things like history, literature, maybe humanities would be the general taboo. geez.
--sex: well read a post i sent last night. we're not talking "poor" south of the border skills, we are talking zero south of the border skills, ever. he got a lot more than he gave in that department. i could write a book on how bad this part of our relationship was. but not now.
--criticism: apparently, i sneeze wrong. it's supposed to be more through the nose. (he told me this just 2 days ago when I ran into him at the store. 2 seconds in the same building and he was already laying into me. I left pretty fast.) Also, it's disgusting to slurp tea, at least the way i do it. I must be a really disturbed person to not keep every window in my house open, even in the dead of winter. All those time when I got excited about some idea or thing that happened and started talking really fast and loud? Well he just couldn't be around me because I was too "high energy" for him. oh, and all of my most deeply held opinions and worldviews? They're not just wrong, they're silly, but pretty typical for a woman.
--he thinks its really romantic and intimate to kiss me on the forehead, gave me some line about the "third eye." i wanted to scream every time he did it, it just seemed like a really half-assed excuse for a kiss where he didn't have to get too close. It made me feel like a 3 year old.
--his use of the words "sweet" and "mean." There were several times I was so depressed and sad about our relationship that I couldn't even talk. Those were the occassions where he would say "oh you're being so sweet tonight" and be all cuddly and nice to me like i was a good, docile girl and now i got a treat. Everytime I expressed an opinion too strongly or brought up a single one of my needs (like once I asked him to stop critizing me about stuff like slurping tea or likeing the x-files) I was being "mean" and he couldn't "deal with me" if i was just going to "attack" him like that.
--acting like he had more of a bond with my cat than I do. ok this is petty, but he always pulled this routine when he came over like he was bonding with my cat because i would close the window and not let her out at night after i found out she'd been sighted across this really busy street and i was scared she'd get hit. so both the kitty and the ex are being trapped by me apparently, in his view. he talked to her about it. it drove me insane, i felt like he was poisoning the mind of my child, which is ridiculous, she's a cat, but it still bugged me.
--i wish I had some complaints about trite little personal habits, since he had plenty for me. Um, he did have this way of sleeping on his side that would result in me getting pinned against the wall by his ass. And I could NEVER get him to move over.
--I also wish I had some complaints about his appearance, but he is pretty damn hot. damn those shoulders of his, i miss that. mmm. but i bet there's men out there with hot shoulders who are also SANE!!!!
everybody keep bitching, you're all doing great !
He is smart, successful, but always worked so hard and was never arrogant or abrasive. He is a good person. Sure he has his faults- we all do-- he clearly is not perfect...he can get moody, but he was always there for me when I needed him and even when I didn't need him. He was on my side no matter what...I guess that is what made him such a great friend.
tb
What would I say...
Something like....Why would I want to get back with you after you have been ignoring me for months. When we use to be in the same room and you would act like I didn't even exist. You basically lied out your teeth about everything during the breakup and beyond and told sh_tty excuses to me and others as to why you broke up with me. I have learned a lot about myself in these past several months. I lost myself while we were together and I never want to lose that again. I don't want to become the needy dependent person that I became during our relationship. And most of all you started dating someone else practically right after we broke up. Do you have any idea how hurtful that was? And how hurtful it is to her that you are trying to get into a relationship right after you broke up with her? You definitely have some growing up to do and learning about yourself. I hope you find that someday. On the otherhand I hope one day we can have some sort of friendship because I do still care about you. When you are ready to have that type of relationship I'm here.
Now on to the good stuff.
-He's controlling- would also make me feel guilty if I wanted to do something with friends. Make me feel guilty that I was leaving him if I went to visit my family.
-Clean freak- He totally was a clean freak with bleach and stuff and take five million showers a day but then he started slacking on it and blamed it on me.
-Made me feel inferior- Made me feel like I couldn't do things and I had to have him around to do them even after we broke up not like he would but he was like I'm here when you need something.
-instilled fear in me- I was afraid to do anything by myself and also without him. made it feel like Someone would always be out to get me. Even with him I felt scaried at night.
-got mad that I became dependent on him after awhile
-Got upset that I realized that I was ok being on my own after he was mad that I was dependent on him.
-Constantly had to be around me he would come home from work whenever he could just to be around me and then one day just stopped.
-Overly sexual- Needed it all the time like everyday more than once in a row and various times during the day
-Thousands of dollars in debt and just made it worse and worse buying unnessary things for me and others too.
-Quitter on a lot of things and inevidabely our relationship he would always plan all this stuff but never commit and then just quit.
-Got a new girlfriend right after our breakup because he freakin can't be alone
-He always has to be the father of everyone and be the caregiver
-He would fall asleep all the time
-He had been sad for a week and didn't know why and we had had dinner and then he went to exercise and came back and said he was going to go home and was still sad and i was like what is wrong and he was like i dont know and so i stupidly suggested do you want to breakup? and he just said yeah i think we should. then didn't want to talk about it because he was tired and wanted to finish it the next day. He said a few things but basically did that and came over right before i had to go to class.
-Was very critical of me a lot but play it off as joking
-Completely ignored me after the breakup even when he would walk right past me yet stare at me during the meetings
-Didn't like that I was raised northernly?
-Didn't like that I'm cluttery
-He would just assume certain things like that I wanted him to be my religion, that I wanted him to go places, that i want him to do this do that (he even admitted that he brought this on himself)
-That hes a f-king coward right now
-That is a f-king lier right now!
-He made my childhood friend visits akward but when we visited his friends it of course wasnt
-Groping in public
-Porn addiction
-He's pretty girly (sometimes I liked him being sensitive sometimes it seemed too much)
-Didn't want to be with me on new years eve because of my friends (he did come though but much drama)
-Hung out with all our mutual friends after the breakup to make it look like I was holding him back (which wasn't the compelete opposite) but of course now that he has the new girl he doesn't see anyone
-He had depression and just stopped taking his pills
-He codependent hence the stuff above
Wow I'm going to stop. there are more things I think but I didn't realize how big the list was. I can't believe I kept setting these signs off although some of them are after the relationship ended. I gotta keep thinking these things because for some pissy reason I can't get the dork out of my head. It's very frustrating when I know I don't want him back. But I miss him but maybe its the same as you ace that I don't know if its him or the aspect of the relationship since we were together ALL THE TIME. I can't believe its not atleast a little bit him that I miss though. Gosh I'm frustrated that I'm still in this state and its going to be 5 months in a couple of days. I know he's being a coward and not dealing with it and just trying to push it down but its still frustrating that hes somehow getting on with his life since he has a new girl but I still wonder if thats true if he doesn't think of me.... Oh well I can't dwell on that. I'm glad I found this site its has helped me get to where I am. You ladies bring such great insight to these situations and like you said ace you see that it could have been a h*ll of a lot worse.
i miss my ex as a person but i've gotten accustomed to his absence--yet i still miss having SOMEBODY there. i think julyis going to be a hard month of me cos this is the month we first got together and had our beautiful summer courtship. we have to contsantly remember to be patient with ourselves because "getting over" a boyfriend is a long process with a lot of steps and its not completely linear.there's dealing with the shock at first, there's the awful first 2 months whereyou feel like you smell, see and feel them everywhere you go. and then there's this quiet sadness, like a calm, like you're used to it, and its not tearing you apart, but its still there, and then there's like rebuilding yourself and redisocvering who you are now that you've not got this person in your life anymore, and then there's moving forward and maybe starting to dateagain.imsure there are a million other things too but we have to remember that although its been "X amount of time" its still okay to feel what we feel.
and we cant forget the things that suck about our exes! as my best guy friend said to me "take the glasses off of superman and he's just clark kent again". and that lovely metaphor is intended to teach us that we cant keep seeing our guys as mr. right cos clearly they're not.
i remembered another crummy thing about my ex:
-he had a really big head.i mean he was hot, dont get me wrong, but i was looking at apicture the other day and i realized his head was disproportionately large for his body.why didnt i notice it before? more importantly, how did that ginormous cranium not roll off due to its own weight?
-he made really weird faces during sex. i mean i know we all make faces, but he madeWEIRD ones, like faces iimagine gregor samsa made before he metamorphisized...
okay there'll be more
more stuff
-he ate weird smelly stuff
-didn't know anything sexually in the beginning (even kissing)
I have more but i gotta go!
Continue later
:)
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