Angry and Sad and Lonely
Find a Conversation
Angry and Sad and Lonely
| Wed, 06-30-2004 - 4:29pm |
As per my previous post, yesterdy my eb popped up on AOL IM after 2 months of nothing. Today, on a hunch, I searched the website where we met and found his personal ad looking for a new girlfriend. We only broke up 2 months ago and he told me that he couldn't handle a relationship and that he couldn't handle having a girlfriend. What I want to know is how can all these issues go away in only 2 months time!!!! What magical, mystical form of therapy did he find that "cures" ones problems in just 2 months? The kicker is that he hardly changed his profile and is using the same picture. I am just so angry. Angry that I spend the past 2 months in hell, wondering what I did wrong, what I could have done to save our relationship, not sleeping, not eating, crying all the time, falling into a severe depression, wanting him back so bad that I could think of nothing else. He wasn't even honest when he broke up with me. How could he be looking for a new girlfriend when he flat out told me that he thought he could have a relationship but realized that he was unable to do so because of his career. BTW, he DID NOT change his job so the problems he had before will resurface. He told me that he still loved me, that he was still in love with, that he cared about me and that the respected me. I know realized that this is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard. I am hurt, I am upset, I am disillusioned, I am disappointed, I want to cry and am fighting it since I am at work and they are sick of me crying all the time, I want to call him up and curse him out, I want to scream! He threw me away because he couldn't deal with having a girlfriend and now he is looking for a new one! Who the heck is he kidding! I feel like a fool for loving him. I feel so stupid for crying over him and being miserable. The only good thing that has come out of this is that my confusion over the break up has cleared. I now know that there isn't any chance of us getting back together. That it is over and I have to move on. All hopes is gone and that is what was keeping me going. I harboured a not so secret hope that he would come back and we would be able to work everything out. That he would realize what he had done and would try to fix things. It's over, he doesn't want to be with me anymore, he doesn't love me anymore, he doesn't care about me anymore, I am a non-entity in his life! I have never felt so alone in my life. I don't have any friends who can take me out and get me to forget this. I am not one to do something on my own.
Thank you for listening to my rant. This is far better than calling him up and venting at him. Saves my dignity and right now that all I have left.

Pages
He probably just wants to date...without ever having any relationship.
Which is not something most women comprehend.
Dating is not 'I am seeking a life partner" endeavor. Dating is about fun, sex, companionship, flirtation, sharing interests, and conversations, and events...it's all about enjoying yourself while in the company of someone else that usually you find sexually attractive and mentally stimulating. But that's it...that is ALL dating is.
And men have no problem dating........because if they're not looking for a relationship - which is a JOB that requires communication, compromise, meeting needs appropriately, consideration of the other person's needs and goals at all times.......no amount of "dating" makes a difference, they won't have "a relationship".
I think YOU wanted a relationship - you were dating someone to find someonee that you shared values, goals, ideas with - or at least feelings of "I want you in my life because you complete me" sort of drivel....and he wanted to date, to have fun, to enjy you per his needs and his schedule while being considerate of your needs and your schedule.
It's just that you want "more" in terms of a future than he does. So, he ended it.
But he's now out on a "dating site" - unfortuantely women often assume that every manon there is seeking "a relationship"...and quite often they're just looking to find fun, interesting, intelligent, sexy women to "date" - because they've dated all the women in thier area, those women wanted "a relationship" - so they had to stop dating them!
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
I mean, I can see careers that would prohibit someone who wants particular things from getting them from a partner - in which case, that partner isn't for them.
And to assume...makes and ass of u - at least.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
Pages