i'm seeing him tonight
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i'm seeing him tonight
| Thu, 07-01-2004 - 4:43pm |
Well, it's been three weeks since my boyfriend of three years broke up with me. We lived together, and our lease goes until the end of July so it's time to pay rent. He doesn't feel comfortable just leaving his half at the apartment, he wants to give it directly to me. Originally he planned on stopping by my work tomorrow to give it to me, but I didn't want to risk getting emotional at work. So, tonight after he gets off work he's going to call me and we are going to meet up. I know he's just giving me money, but I'm still very nervous about seeing him (I haven't seen him since the breakup). I know this is no big deal to him, but just the thought of seeing him brings back all of these emotions and I'm not sure I will know how to act around him. Any advice??

I can understand your nervousness...nobody knows how they'll react the first time they see there ex after a break-up and it can be very nerve-racking. It's nice that your ex is still going to pay half his rent though...there are several guys who wouldn't so you should be glad of that. As for tonight...you've probably already talked to him...but if you haven't is there any way a close friend could meet him for you? One he would trust with the money? If not I would try and keep the conversation short and only about the rent etc. Good luck and let us know how it goes!!
Well, I'll start from the beginning. Our relationship ended because of multiple things. I can be very jealous and controlling which made him feel suffocated. He also got very insecure when I went back to school (feeling like I didn't need him anymore, like I was trying to be better than him, etc.). All of these little issues just started adding up and we both became unhappy. After a particularly rough argument, we took a break for a few days and during that time he came to the conclusion that it would be better for us and our individual happiness to go our separate ways. However, we both still really love and respect each other. He was always faithful to me and always there for me.
After the breakup, I was devastated. Normally I would be the kind of person to call him crying and begging him to take me back. But after posting on this board and getting lots of encouragement and advice, I tried my hardest to have no contact. When I was sad, I cried to my parents, my friends, or posted on these boards. When he finally did call me on Father's Day (about a week and a half after we broke up), guess what he said to me? He told me that he really admired how strong I had been the past week and it was something he hadn't seen in me before. Yay for no contact!
So last night was the first time I had seen him in three weeks. I went there just expecting to get his half of rent and then leave (although, I admit, secretly hoping for at least a conversation). We had spoken on the phone a few days before and talked about how hard it's been but how we really want the other to be happy. Last night we ended up sitting in his car and just talking about things. As much as I want him back, I know (and he knows) if we got back together right now there is a good chance that things would go back to the way they were very quickly. We're both young, I'm 21 and he's almost 23, so we both have some growing up to do. We talked about how we both don't want the other to disappear from our lives. The conclusion we came to was that we both need time on our own to grow up, learn about ourselves, etc. And that the possibility is there for us to date again in the future.
Some things he said to me: "I wouldn't want to wake up tomorrow if the possibility wasn't there that we will be together again someday". "There's a long road ahead of us, but I'm hoping we can make it". He looked at me like he had when we were first dating and said, "You're still as cute as ever".
So as of now we are not together. It's still hard. I still feel empty and sad and lonely. We're only contacting each other every once in awhile. We're both free to date other people, although neither of us wants to right now. When he left last night, he said, "Don't be a stranger", gave me a hug and kissed me on the forehead and then left. I know that if we do have time apart and then eventually get back together our relationship will be stronger.
In your opinion, do you think it's possible to work things out? Can there be a happy ending? I know there is the possibility that we will not get back together so by keeping my hopes up am I preventing myself from moving on? Thanks for reading this...
tb