pining and feeling really stupid!
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| Fri, 07-02-2004 - 8:35pm |
ages ago i concocted this silly fantasy in my head, back when i was reading the ex's livejournals & profiles every day. the fantasy was that my ex was going to try and get my back on what would have been our 1 yr anniversary (july 7th--next wednesday). imagined he'd call me this wknd, maybe sunday, and ask me to meet him on wednesday to talk. or just that he'd be waiting on my doorstep on wedensday evneing when i got home from work. i figured he'd tell me that he was afraid he had made the biggest mistake of his life, that he really loved me, and could we start over, what a perfect day for a fresh start?
so i stopped reading the profiles & livejournals and i let the fantasy take a backseat to reality and honestly, i've been doing really well and moving forward and plunging ahead.
and then i read my frickin monthly horoscope--see , i told yout his was stupid--and it says:
"Don't be discouraged on the 1st. Whatever doesn't come to you will be replaced or rendered irrelevant by the events that illuminate your life between the 2nd and 12th. There are no murky illusions, only brilliant certainties. You're free to be whoever you'd rather be. Faith in the unlikely pays off on the 6th and 7th when reality models itself on fantasy. By the 9th you're ready to commit, and by the 11th you're rebuilding. So what happens on the 13th when some Changeable Charlie revokes permission? Friends rush in to save or bless your efforts on the 16th. But salvaging anything means starting over."
there's more but its irrelevant. okay, so horoscopes are just for fun, they're not to be taken too seriously, esp cheesy ivillage horoscopes. but reading this reactivated my fantasy, which "reality models itself on the 6th or the 7th"???? my stupid little brain is making all kinds of plans and getting girlishly carried away. is it just a coincidence? so um...i read every other sign's monthly horoscope to see if you know, they all applied to me. but the others dont really, i mean they could cos they're so vague but nothing strikes me as much as my own.
i feel SO lame about this, but i cant stop thinking of my ex, planning our reconciliation, planning out f*cking WEDDING i mean for god's sake ladies smack me with an internet-stick or something and get me thinking straight again!
thanks :D
ace
p.s. am i the only loser out there who gets in modes like this? say it aint so!

Firstly, horoscopes are nothing but entertainment. I read mine all the time too, only when i'm bored, and never once has it been correct. So, thats your first mistake. Don't believe in those things, unless of course you're big into astrology.
Secondly, no, you're not the only one who acts/thinks this way... we've all fantasized about our ex's coming back, blah blah. Just some get past it a lil faster.
You're a smart girl, you know what you're thinking is stupid, and you know that you need to get past this. You also know that the chances of your ex coming back are slim to none. You know all of this. You just need to accept it. So how about instead of reading horoscopes, and posting "what if's" (in regards to your last post, although it was a good one!!), we start talking about ways to move on. Even if you have to point out every flaw your ex has, if that's what it takes, start doing it!!
i dont think horoscopes are completely b.s. but i do think the cheesy monthly internet hosroscope from ivillage doesnt mean a damn thing. im just in a really retarded mood and i needed somebody to talk some sense into me.
you're right, im being dumb, i need to go back and read some of my own posts about why its important to let go and move on and take my own damn advice.
tb
and i thinkt here is something to be said for a healthy level of fantasy, one that gets you through the day and gives you hope. no, my ex probably wont come back to me. and holding out for a reconciliation is just going to hurt me more. in all honesty im too busy for a relationship right now anyway!
but sometimes my fantasies about him and us keep me smiling, keep me happy, keep me from getting too lonely and hopeless. so the key is to find a balance, how to move on without completely stripping yourself bare. letting go is a step by step process...and i've alreayd let go so much.
plus i gotta stop reading my horoscope lol.
its just sometimes i get so bored at work...hah i should just post more ^_^