A big problem

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
A big problem
2
Sun, 07-04-2004 - 12:29am


I have a big problem. Last year my boyfriend and I broke up, not for lack of love, but for bad timing. We have kept in touch, though we've never discussed whether he's dating again or if I am. I was hoping in time we'd get together again, because I feel he still loves me, but I haven't wanted to push it.

Meanwhile, another ex -boyfriend that moved overseas and I have re-connected. He and I had a very loving relationship off and on, and now he is telling me he wants to be with me and is willing to move back here to work things out.

The thing is, I still have a lot of feelings for my most recent ex.

Should I tell the last boyfriend of my feelings and this situation to see where we stand before I let this other guy come back?

Thanks in advance.

Sweetpea

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Sun, 07-04-2004 - 11:08am
Welcome to the board!!! If you feel this strongly about your ex...I think you owe it to yourself and to him, to let him know. He may feel the same but he may not so just be prepared either way.

As for your overseas ex, it's obvious that you don't love him as much as your other ex and even if the one you wants to be with turns you down, I don't think you should get back with the overseas guy because it's obvious he's not the one you want to be with....you'd be setteling for him and it's not fair to either of you.

Good luck and keep us posted.














Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2003
Sun, 07-04-2004 - 8:43pm
I agree.

Don't treat the overseas ex like a fallback, or "second best". You may have loved him on and off, but you clearly feel alot stronger for your most recent ex. You can tell your ex that you have another man who wants to be with you, if you choose, but that may do more damage than good. If you'd rather be back with your ex, than the overseas guy, you need to tell the one overseas that you don't feel you can be with him right now, that you need to figure some things out, because you do.

In the meantime, Talk your ex if you'd like, and see where he stands. Then go from there. But under no circumstances, go running back to the man overseas. that's not fair to him.