How does a good thing turn out so bad?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2004
How does a good thing turn out so bad?
2
Mon, 07-05-2004 - 1:54pm
I am writing this in an attempt to understand what Im feeling and why Im feeling the way I am. My boyfriend of two years and I broke up about two months ago, over some trivial little thing. I was out of town housesitting for my aunt and asked him to come up with me, he would not come bc he said he had too much to do and just wouldnt have time to get anything done. That was fine but I called him all weekend and needless to say he didnt anwswer he had been out with his friends partying all weekend and didnt have the guts to tell me. I broke up with him after that bc it seemed like he was telling me that he needed space and wanted to do his own thing, I told him that over the phne and he immediately drove up to see me, I heard what he had to say and sent him home. We have kept in touch and now he is dating someone else whom is much much older than him. We go out as friends and he tells me he loves me, etc. I will not lie I do love him more than anything in the world and he is the only man I have ever loved like this, it hurts everytime I see him and everytime I talk to him. He was my best friend, I could talk to him about anything and it was ok, I could be completely honest with him and reveal my true feelings without hesitation. I am scared that I let the best thing that has ever happened to me go, Ive told him how I feel and he tells me that he needs time to trust me again bc I really did break his heart. I understand what I did and I know the decision was made irrational but he hasnt been perfect to me either, he sent me home this past valentines day bc we got in an argument, he just told me to leave so I did and I didnt hear from him all week, he called me that friday when I was supposed to come over but I didnt go to see him, after that he lost it he talked about suicide, went to my mom's work and cried to her, and sent me gifts, I finally decided that I would take him back bc I really did love him and I was miserable without him as he was. My point is in all of this is that I loved him enough to forgive him for the wrongs he did to me, however, it does not seem like he loves me enough to do the same. I dont know what to do anymore, I cry ALOT just thinking about him. Im at a point in my life where I have things that Ive always wanted, I have a career, I'm making a positive improvement in my life but it still feels empty without him. Please help me!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 12:14am
Welcome to the board!! I know it's tough letting go...especially since you have remained so close to him. I don't think it's that he doesn't love you enough to forgive him but that he's just afraid of being hurt again. I think you both need to take some time away from each other...with no contact to figure out what you both really want and go from there. Good luck and keep us posted.













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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2004
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 12:50pm
Thank you for replying to my message. I think having no contact would be best for us at this point, since the lady he is seeing now thinks that we should not be anything, not even friends. She is really ridiculous and she is using him but he'll eventually find that out. I will be leaving soon for the Coast Guard, I just need to get away from all of these memories and I've always wanted a career in the Coast Guard. Maybe this happening is the best thing right now, even though it seems like the world is coming to an end.