very, very confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2004
very, very confused
2
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 7:05pm
hello everyone,

i'm new to this bored and i have a relationship question. i'm very confused on this issue and need some other opinions... i am 21 yrs old and broke up with my bf of 2 and a half yrs about 2 months ago. i am still trying to get over it all, but we share mutual friends so i see him occasionally. anyway, i know a girl from work, but not very well. she's been hanging out with my ex lately, which is fine. i don't think they are doing anything wrong. i got upset over seeing him the other day in front of her and some other friends and started to cry. here's where i'm torn. today, i was with her and some other friends and her phone rang. i had a feeling it was her, but she said it wasn't when my other friend asked her. later i assume she called him back when she went to the opposite end of the room to talk on the phone. i don't think it was right for her to lie to me, especially when i'm so upset. but on the other hand, i can understand because she probably didn't want to make me upset. well, i called my ex to talk to him, and he was out with her...so that is why i assume that she lied to me. any advice? i am still very confused...thanks for any input.

stefanie
Avatar for thisblonde
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 7:08pm
Well since you broke up with him, it's none of your business who he sees. And she was probably trying to be nice when she said it wasn't him on the phone. That too was none of your business. You need to find a way to remove yourself from this situation if you can't handle it.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Tue, 07-06-2004 - 7:55pm
My guess is that they are trying not to hurt you by hiding the fact that they are seeing each other. It is understandable that you don't really want to know what is going on between the two. The sad fact is that he is available to date whomever he wants. It is a shame that it happens to be someone who spends enough time around you, that you know her business. Sometimes good can come out of a situation like this. I know you don't see it now, but having it right in front of your face may actually help you get over him faster. Guys tend to move on quicker than we do. Women are said to be emotionally driven, yet guys are the ones who seem to need someone to be with. In a perfect world, we would all get over each other at the same time. But it is far from a perfect world. If you and your ex are trying to maintain a friendship of sorts, then it would be best for him to be honest with you. Nothing is worse than giving someone false hope. ((hugs))

Lois