Moving on...(long...sorry)
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| Tue, 07-06-2004 - 10:34pm |
Moving on....
A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back a mantle of wet lashes and you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for safety, happiness or courage to come galloping over the next horizon.
You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) And the guarantee of 'happily ever after' must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that everyone will not always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK...(they are entitled to their own views and opinions).
And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop whining and complaining about other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you.
So you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safey and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailities and in the process a sense of contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you is the result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche.
And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how should behave, how you should look, and how much you should weigh, what you should wear, who you should marry, how to raise your kids, or what you owe your parents, etc.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view, and you begin re-assessing and re-defining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the values and doctrines you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with that it is truly in giving that we receive.
And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a 'consumer' looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation on which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything. It's not your job to save the world and you can't teach a pig to sing.
You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting bondaries and learning to say'NO'.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. Romantice love and familial love, how to love, how much to give in love, and when to stop giving and when to walk away.
You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship.
You learn that you will not be more beautiful,more intelligent,more loveable or important simply beccause of the woman or man on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations or outcomes.
You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love...And you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your own terms...just to make you happy.
And you learn that alone does not mean lonely.. And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect'10' for that matter and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you 'stack up'.
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK... And that it is your right to want things and to ask for things... And that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realizations that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't SETTLE for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his or her touch. And in the process you internalize the meaning of respect, and you realize that your body really is a temple, and you treat it with respect.
So you learn to take more time to laugh and play, you learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, guidance and perserverance.
You learn that no one can do it all alone and that it is OK to ask for help.
You learn that the only thing that you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all time, FEAR itself.
You learn to step right into and right through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give into fear is to give away the right to live on your own terms.
And you learn to fight for your life and not squander it under an impending cloud of doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair, and you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that bad things sometimes happen to unsuspecting good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things.
You learn that God isn't puninshing you for failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.
You learn that the negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and re-directed or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe around you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things that we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about. Slowly you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to NEVER settle for less than your heart's desire.
And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.
And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally with courage you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life and the world and the love you deserve! (author unknown)

