i need to understand

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
i need to understand
3
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 1:20am
I always seem to come back here, to the post everytime i need some emotional support.

once again me and my boyfriend broke up. i pray to god that this time i have the strenghth to not go back to him no matter what. it's not meant to be and it will never work, and i know this. And this time has't been half as bad as the 2 times before in which i was unconsolable. despite the fact that i miss him and wish it had worked out and wish we could still work it out, i refuse to suffer more than i need to. However, i cant help but falling apart every now and then when i think and ask my self why wasn't i good enough for him. why couldn't he see past all his fears and insecurities and issues and give me a real chance. why coiuldn't he love me? i know that i will eventually move on and be entirely over him. hopefully it will be soon, but nothing, nothing would have made me happier than for us to have been together forever. i wouldv'e given it all up for him and why wasn't he willing to do the same for me.

i know that it's not my fault, and in a way it wan't his either. you can't rule in the heart. But how do i get over this pain i feel because i wasn't enough for him to be happy. how do i not bring my self down. How can i really understand that it's not my fault, that it's simply not meant to be. i just want to hear something that will diminish the pain a lil. i need some hope. some hope that i will find that someone who will love me and i will love back.

if anyone has any thoughts to share, you can e-mail me at Leidy101@yahoo.com too

thanks for reading

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2003
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 4:09am
I recall the many times I've felt I wasn't good enough for my ex, and that I was to blame for the end of the relationship. Towards the end, there wasn't a day where my ex didn't imply that I was the selfish one, or I was the cold hearted one, the one who pushed him away, but having come so far out of it I realized that there was nothing wrong with me to begin with. I admit I wasn't the perfect girlfriend, but I was faithful unlike him. The way to ease yourself from the pain is forgiving yourself. Forgive yourself for all the things you might regret during the relationship, and for the things you didn't do to keep the relationship. And know that because of this you will become a better person and a stronger one for other relationships to come. A man that can't love you doesn't deserve you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, he's the one that can't commit, why should you pay for it with your pain? Now is the time to think about what you want to do, things in life that make YOU happy. I believe life is all about experiences, let this one make you into a better person and give yourself a chance to learn more about yourself and your desires. Ultimately you will find someone that can love, and cherish you and with what you learned you can make that relationship even better. Be strong and keep on posting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Wed, 07-07-2004 - 5:24pm
Leidy,

I sent you an email with an attachement. Be sure to read it when you are not rushed, and carefully. It really helped me and even after one day i feel so much better and stronger.

Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2004
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 1:21am
its been 3 weeks since he broke up with me and 2 weeks since i found out that hes dating someone new. someone with 2 kids. that until now i cannot understand, why he chose her over me. how can we take away the pain? its hard, but with time it will be less. i still feel the pain up until now, but sometimes even if i feel like crying theres no more tears. i dont know if its cuz im numb or im getting used to the fact that its really over, maybe both. its hard to accept that fact. and its hard not knowing wut to expect in the future, but i guess thats life. remember the saying if you love someone set them free and if they come back, then it was really yours. right now your staring at a blank future, with nothing to see, but with hope you will see that sometime in the future there will be something for you. all you have to do is hope. keep on hoping and it will be better keep on smiling even though your heart is breaking. it will make you survive another day....