It hit me, I'm over it!
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| Wed, 07-07-2004 - 5:54pm |
Anyways, It finally hit me today, that I'm not upset anymore. It's finally sunk in that my ex is gone, and that I don't want him back. I've relized i miss being in a RELATIONSHIP, and i miss my BEST FRIEND, but it's not HIM i miss. I've been happier these past few weeks, each day getting happier and happier. I've been sleeping better, i've been going out more, trying to meet new people, and you know what? It feels great. My ex hardly crosses my mind anymore, and when he does, i've trained myself to think of something else.
I've reached closure. I'm not angry with him, he had his reasons for doing it i suppose, and I'm not upset over it, because now i'm "free" to experiment again, date other guys, and find MY "the one". Even though I was so sure my ex and I would have been together years to come, because he doesn't want to be with me, it proves right there that he wasn't "the one" for me either.
One day, we will all find a man who feels the exact same way we do about them, about us, and they will give 100% at the relationship as well. I'm confident we will find someone like this, it may take some time, but when we do, it will be well worth the wait.
SO instead of crying, and aching over the man/men that have broken our hearts, we should chalk it up as experience, which i've just learned to do, and look towards the future. The grass IS greenier on the other side for us, and we'll get there. :)
Trust me, these men, even though we think they're worth it, aren't. "No man is worth your tears, and the one who is, will NEVER make you cry". I totally agree.

you're looking at it the right way--whats done is done, and now its time to look to the future. and we are young, and we have a lot of time to find that right guy, the one who WANTS to work it out, because we have th same goal: to make the relationship succeed.
i have not quite arrived at the peace that you have arrived at, but im confident that it will happen. i was so madly in love with my ex and it still pains me to know he threw me away...i AM still upset with him, and i AM still hurting, and it will take a long time for me to be ready to date again.
yet i too am recognizing all of the valuable thigns that have resulted from my singledom and i know 1 day i WILL meet the right guy
we all will.
im proud of you cosmo, for getting to this point, and congrats on your new job too by the way :) keep posting even though you're feeling better cos we'll miss you otherwise!
I was madly in love with my ex too, still am, I don't think i'll ever FULLY be over him... BUT, with that in mind, I still need to live my life as if he's not a part of it, because he's not. He's caused me pain, tears, and many sleepless nights, and that's EXACTLY why I'm over him. I'm soooo sick of feeling like a piece of crap. When we broke up, I felt like a "washed up has been". Did I feel like he threw me away for no reason? yes. Did i feel like he gave up on us? yes. Do i wish we could have worked things out? yes. But in the end, all that matters, and what's helped me get over this, is that HE'S THE ONE who caused all of this. He's the one being niaeve and immature. He's the one who ran away from it, and he's the one who gave me up for nothing. And would i really want him back, knowing he has the power to do this to me again? NO.
So in the end, why should i suffer because he's an idiot? Why should i be unhappy because this guy made me this way? I don't have the power to change what happened, I dont think any of us could have done anything differently to save our relationships, it's not us, it's him. But just because we don't have the power to change the past, we DO how the power to change the future. We can control how we feel now, and we can control what kind of relationship we want in the future. We've learned alot from these guys, i know i've learned how to cope with losing someone, i've learned how to do things differently (while in a relationship), and i've learned NEVER EVER to settle for ANYONE less than what I want. My boyfriend wasn't 100% perfect, no one is, but there were things about him that I know I couldn't change, and that I didn't want to live with the rest of my life. And that's what keeps me going. Like we all know, one day we will find someone who's got everything we want, and more. Perhaps its my ex, and maybe we will find each other once again, but i'm not holding onto that. Whatever happens, happens. He may or may not be the "right" guy for me, but until I find that guy, i'll have a blast with all the wrong ones. :)
i think i hit that piont a month ago, but that doesnt mean i dont still love him, dont miss him, and dont think about him.
i guess what im learning is that its a slow process that occurs in stages. and you're right, our exes screwed up, we didnt. with that knowledge we know we can do it right the next time the opportunity presents itself. and until then we have to concentrate on our own lives.
im just really stressed right now with apartment hunting and stuff, if my posts seems a little...off
im just so tired cos i leave at 8 and im not home till 10 or 11, after running all over new york city. so im getting into this "I hate my life" mode, which is totally temporary, i just need some breathing time.
but its almost the weekend :)
I am tired of hurting, of feeling rejected, of feeling like I didn't measure up, of feeling like I will never have that awesome connection with someone again, like I will never again find someone whose kisses make me melt and whose touch generates warmth throughout my body, or someone I can laugh and joke and play with. I think I am so tired of it all that I am ready to give up these unproductive feelings.
I am tired of allowing the rejection of one person to color my perception of myself. I am tired of being told by concerned friends and family that I look too thin and somewhat frail, when 4 months ago I was the picture of vitality and health.
I need to take back my life and recover what he stoled from me.
In the word of Austin Powers -- I need to get my MOJO back, baby (I may be paraphrasing...lol) Hope I am not ranting -- I just seemed to get in a roll
Lois
man, i gotta say, i used to have mad game...seriously...not to toot my own horn or anyting, but boys liked me once upon a time! so thats what its about, im stressed and tired of my life righ tnow, but in a few short months, when im settled into my new place, my mojo is going to be SO on.
hah. watch me.
That's what i like to hear!!
Look forward to getting your mojo back, and workin the game again. Let's just hope we attract the right kind of men, not the wrong ones! It seems to be a vicious pattern with myself, the ones that have the jones's for me, i don't feel the same way about, and vice versa. But atleast it gives me hope :D