Stop me from doing something dumb...
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| Fri, 07-09-2004 - 9:16pm |
So here's my problem... I can have access to my ex's email if I want, and I'm really tempted to see who he's been talking to. You see, we started a week of NC on Monday night, and at that time he told me he hadn't talked to anyone about the breakup, not even his parents. (He's actually away this summer for a work thing, and won't be back in Michigan til Aug. 24) I'm just wondering what he's thinking and what he's telling other people about the breakup. I know, I should just let it go and concentrate on me... I have lots of things to figure out before he gets back, like where to live and such.
I know in the end, it doesn't really matter if he's trust-worthy, he still broke my heart and took me for granted, so no matter what he's doing now, I don't want him back. But it makes me sick to think that maybe he's spending time with someone new or re-connecting with some ex or something.
Please help me! I know I should just let it go... peace of mind is a much better place to be.
Sarah

I made the mistake of doing that to one of my ex's! I couldn't believe it! I was devestated at what I found! He had lied to me saying he wasn't talking to anyone else and low and behold - he was!
After I spied I TOTALLY wished I hadn't and ended up with a total set-back!
STOP NOW before you do it! GET OUT YOUR HOUSE - TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER - UNPLUG YOUR COMPUTER - WHATEVER! DO NOT DO IT!
Make a list of every single person you know that you can call and make sure you call each and every one of those people on that list. After you have done that if you still have the urge - take a pen and paper and write out your feelings!
IF you still have the urge after that - take a piece of paper (which you should do now anyways) and tape it to your computer that says in big bold letters
PEASE OF MIND IS A MUCH BETTER PLACE TO BE!
Pleaseeeeeee don't do it! It's over. Let it be. Chin up - call up some friends and take care of YOU. By looking at his email - it will only set you back to those days of crying and anger and all that!!!
NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT!
Just remember, it doesn't matter what they say when they are breaking up. They will say what it takes to make the process easier. Before you do anything, you have to realize that in his mind, he is no longer in a exclusive relationship. To you, it has only been a week. But he had already gone through the process of disconnecting before he broke it to you. I know you will feel crushed if you find out that he has moved on. But that is a real possibility and if you look thru his email, you have to be prepared to face that. It has been my experience that men move on very quickly. My heart goes out to you, and I think that you should think about what you are getting ready to do. Honestly, you know it is over and checking his email can only bring you more pain.
That said, I know that if I was in your shoes, I don't know that I would be able to refrain from checking. But I also know that in my case I would have seen messages that I would have prefered not to see. Please think about yourself, and not him.
Lois
After I wrote that post, I started watching a movie to distract myself and then I talked to my brother, who is an awesome man and gives me hope that great men are still out there!
I realized that it doesn't really matter WHAT he is doing now... I am happy that I have the opportunity to move on. The only thing that really hurts is my pride... I wanted him to want me. But he is an emotionally crippled person, and no matter what he does with his future, he will not be ultimately happy unless he gets help.
The funny thing is, I haven't cried at all since Wednesday. This leads me to believe that maybe my feelings for him didn't run as deep as I originally thought. Any thoughts?
Sarah
Lois