w/a guy 4 a year, but have found someone

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2004
w/a guy 4 a year, but have found someone
3
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 2:21am
I have been w/a great guy for over a year now. He has moved to CO and I live in OK. He moved back to CO to find a job for his degree, he has only been gone a month. I really miss him and love him. I ended up meeting a very interesting guy when I when out w/my friends last weekend. We really hit it off and we've been talking to eachother on the phone and seeing eachother almost every day. I am so confused I don't know what to do! What is worse I also am developing feelings for him. I don't know what to do about my long distance b/f or what to tell him. Please help me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2004
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 2:51am
I know how you feel. I was separated from my fiance for a month, met someone else, and fell in love with him too. I ended up breaking up with my fiance, but the only reason that was the right decision is because we were no longer in love with each other and we both knew it. The engagement was more a futile attempt to breathe life back into a relationship that was long over.

One thing to keep in mind, long distance relationships are hard to maintain. They take more work than a normal relationship, because the person isn't there to remind you everyday why you love them. You don't have the everyday affection and caressing, the tender moments that mean so much in a romantic relationship. You don't constantly see their mannerisms, hear their voice, or any of the other things that make them so special.

I would say, don't do anything rash. It's only been since last weekend that you've known this new guy. Don't impulsively throw away a year-long relationship, irreparably hurting your boyfriend in the process. Take your time, analyze your feelings, speak openly with your boyfriend about what's going on and how you're feeling, and be honest with this new guy. Most important: Don't cheat!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2004
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 3:08am
I appreciate your advice. I have met guys before and meet them on a friendly basis only and none have sparked my interest like this one has. I have been honest w/him and told him that I have a b/f. I have not told my b/f about him though. Of course I know it is very early to be gambling a whole year and more away since I just met the guy. I also kissed him last night when we went out, of course a few drinks helped make that happen I think. When I meet people it does not take me very long to know wheather or not I like them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Sat, 07-10-2004 - 9:44am
It could be that this new guy reminds you of what it was like when you and your BF first started dating. There is nothing like the rush we get when we first click with someone. It may be time to do some serious soul searching to figure out if you are really ready for a total commitment. I agree that you shouldn't do anything rash. Maybe you should put some distance between you and this new guy just to see if he stays on your mind. Hope this helps.

Lois