PLEASE HELP!! so upset and alone

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2004
PLEASE HELP!! so upset and alone
1
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 2:42pm
It's almost been a month since my I guess Ex told me that he needs time alone. He's been dealing with his parents divorce. We didn't have the best relationship due to his parents breaking up, my grandmother dying and his grandfather dying. We were together for a year and a half. In the beginning I was crying everyday for 5 hours a day. I felt like I was dying. I keep on telling him that I can't do this and his response is always that he doesn't know what he wants. Yet he says he wants to be with me, he loves me yet he can't because he says he won't be a good boyfriend to me. It is absolutely killing me. I know that in a way it is mature of him to realize he can't cope. At the same time, I see that inlove look in his eyes, he acts like he wants to be with me, yet just shrugs me off. It hurts me so much. So today I emailed him with a proposal, that we should give it another chance otherwise I'm not waiting for him any longer. I am so scared that he's just going to say no. It is killing me so much. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my grandmother's death and he was always there for me, now he's not. He was my best friend before we got together and therefore I'm left with nothing. He goes out every night, while I sit at home alone. I don't have very many friends and I need him to tell me one thing or the other. I hate this "i don't know" and "i need my space" crap. Everytime I see other couples I cry, I miss him so much. Please help...my heart is so broken.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-11-2004 - 4:06pm
Hang in there. Believe me... I KNOW how tough this is. I'm in my mid thirties and going through the third "I need my space" deal. I posted here. The thing that worries me about you is you are isolating yourself. I know this seems like the easiest thing to do but you really need to force yourself to get out there. Join a health club, look for volunteer work, join a cooking class- ANYTHING!!!!! I know you probably don't feel like this and it will be scary at first but believe, it will get easier. You really need to force yourself instead of staying home and feeling sorry for yourself. I do not have many friends either so you just need to get creative. On my last break up (we were on again, off again for 5 years) I was determined to get over him for good!!! I joined a health club, looked into hiking groups, played Volleyball. I was numb at first but believe, it did get easier. Now I'm prepared to do the same thing. The worst thing to do is sit at home and wait for him. The only way he'll want to come back is if you start living life for yourself. Get strong, know you can do this and make an effort to enjoy being with yourself. I KNOW the road isn't easy- I'm going to go on the same road but only if you get strong on your own, will you be ready to let someone in whether it's your ex bf or someone better!!!!

Good Luck