How Long Will I be Angry

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
How Long Will I be Angry
4
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 10:26am

My live in boyfriend of almost 2 yrs called it quites almost two weeks ago.

 

I am co cl for "Ask Dr. Ruth" board. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 11:59am
If he is on the lease, or sharing a loan with you or bills... I'd sue him, take him to small claims court.If you have a joint account... it will be hard to close it, unless he signs some kind of paper....Mine broke up with me in an email too...Thank gawd I didn't go up there to live with him...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 12:47pm
Yes his name is on the lease.

 

I am co cl for "Ask Dr. Ruth" board. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 2:38pm
I was in a similar situation to yours except that my ex at least attempted to deal with his financial obligations. He did pay for two months after we broke up. However, breaking our lease would of cost both of us a lot of money so in the end I let him off the hook. It wasn't worth fighting about to me. We had dealt with enough money problems and I was very fortunate in that my parents offered to help me with the rent until the lease was up. The last thing I wanted was for my parents to pay his half of the rent. It made me sick but I realized the sooner I didn't have to deal with all these financial issues the sooner I could move on. In the meantime, he somehow found the money to get a beach house this summer with a bunch of friends. That was probably the thing that made me the angriest. Money was always an issue with us and what I have realized is that it is something that's not worth holding a grudge about. One day, he will realize (as will your ex) what a selfish jerk he was and how cheap and greedy he had become. Suing him will just prolong everything. (although I can definitely understand why you would consider that.) I don't have children so I only need to support myself.

I wish I had some suggestions for you but I promise you will get over the anger. Once you get some financial issues resolved you will feel better. Since he is on the lease I would also suggest getting your landlord involved. They can chase him down for the money and then you don't have to deal with it. As for your joint bank account get your own now and do not contribute anything more to the one you have together. I am sorry you have to deal with this. I wish I had better advice for you. Just know that the anger will go away. He should not get away with what he is doing to you and I would definitely try and get the money he owes you somehow. Just try and get it over with as quick as possible.

Hope this helped at all. Good luck with everything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 2:52pm

Thanks for your input.


What is making this so hard to deal with is the fact that the day before his scr*w off email we talked and he loved me etc.

 

I am co cl for "Ask Dr. Ruth" board.