Where does the anger come from

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Where does the anger come from
6
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 5:11pm
My ex & I broke up close to a year ago. It was hard, but I moved on. Even though I wanted him so much, I practiced the No Contact rule. He hasn't contacted me since. I would see him at church, but he made a point of ignoring me. I got his message, he didn't want to be bothered. Also, he made sure I noticed him flirting with another lady. That was to much for me to handle so I found a new church. I haven't seen him in six months.

The breakup was ugly. He's a cranky guy. I broke up with him because of his behavior. I deserved to be treated better. But, there was something I really liked about him. After the breakup I expected him to contact me and apologize, ask to get back together, and promise not to be a crab. THAT NEVER HAPPENED.

So, I contacted him and tried to get back together. He kicked my butt to the curb and said some very mean things to me. Other than sending me an invitation to his birthday get-together, he has not contacted me. Twice I called him trying to be friendly, but he didn't seem interested. I left him alone.

I've moved on. The problem is that a few friends have told me that if my name come up in conversation, he begins to look extremely irritated. Then says negative things about me. Why is he so angry? Are you angry after a break up. A friend asked me "what did you do to him?"

I didn't do anything, he dumped me and I moved on.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-13-2004 - 5:28pm
He might be angry with himself for jeopardizing his position in the church by being involved with someone who does "friends with benefits".

He's not angry that you're not in his life...he's angry that he ever let you in his life.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 10:27pm
Maybe he's angry that you've moved on...that you didn't need him so much afterall.













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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 10:39pm
Umm...I think that part of her post where she said they were "friends with benefits" was deleted from my browser. How did you infer that? That was an unnecessarily nasty reply.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2003
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 12:04am
IMO, this is an unnecessarily inflammatory post. There are more tactful ways of saying something w/o it being so hurtful to the poster. We're trying to be supportive, not cruel.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2003
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 12:15am
It's hard to say why he's acting the way he is w/o knowing him personally. It could be alot of things. for example, he may be upset that you appear to have moved on before him or are doing better w/o him. If that's the case, it's all about ego ego ego. Or simply, he winces at the mention of your name because it brings back very painful memories.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 9:27am
I have an ex like this. What's funny, though, is we were only together for probably less than a month my senior year in high school. My bestfriend's boyfriend talks to this guy, and any time anything comes up about a woman or girlfriend, he mentions me and how much he hates me. Actually, he said i'm the one 'he hates more than anything or anyone in the world'. We weren't even together for very long, and i broke up with him because he was too immature. We never even slept together. He still says these things and it's been 4 years!!! Some guys like to hold grudges, i think. I just shrug my shoulders, roll my eyes, and look the other way. He's going to have to get over it on his own!