Depression and a broken heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Depression and a broken heart
3
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 9:29am
I need some help please. I am currently suffering from depression (not officially diagnosed or anything) and I'm going to see my doctor in a few days to get some help for it (either therapist or drugs), but recently my boyfriend and I have broken up and the main reason is because of the depression. I'm always moody, and snappy, never want to do anything, and kinda paranoid that my boyfriend never is doing what he says he is when he's not with me, even though in the end he is, but not until after I accuse him of doing other stuff and getting into a big fight with him. Its come to the point where he can't take it anymore and left. He said when I stop being so depressed we could talk again because otherwise he can't handle it because nothing he ever does makes me happy. I want to call him so bad, but I know that will only make things worse in the long run. How can I get over him? How can I stop myself from calling him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 12:20pm
Sookie,

Reading your post sounds like something straight out of my journal a few years ago. Depression is a serious issue a lot of people tend to take lightly. It is good that you have realized there is a real problem and you are seeking help. If you haven't already made the appointment, do it now. I still see my therapist and medications have done wonders for people I know. Have you had something traumatic happen to you in the past few mos or even over this last year? You may just be overwhelmed or confused by life. This is all ok and how you feel is ok. Now that you are going for help you can begin to work on yourself. As hard as it is going to be you need to put aside a relationship with your boyfriend for now. You can't offer someone all the wonderful things you can offer RIGHT NOW, but eventually you will be able to. I know you don't want to get up in morning, you just want to stay home and cry. Don't call him Sookie or try to see him. If you do you are just going to put on a happy face which will just be a band aid for now. It will all come back around to the fact you need to work on yourself. You can't work on yourself unless you are alone. So 1st-Call your Doctor or find a Mental Health counselor in the yellow pages or online. Make sure they are accredited. 2nd-Find out some deep wants and desires you have. If you have the desire to (for example) plant a tree make the steps to planting a tree. You need to make yourself happy before you can make someone else happy. 3rd-You may want to go onto Ivillage and look at the articles about depression. (this does help, get's you thinking) 4th-Do not call him or think about a relationship until you are happy again. The only way you will be happy again is to make yourself happy and to get help.

Best Wishes and keep me posted.

April

PS-You are ok and it is ok.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 1:58pm
I just want to wish you good luck!

Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Wed, 07-14-2004 - 9:31pm
Welcome to the board!! I'm sorry to hear about your bf.....I can understand why he left if he felt you didn't trust him but on the other hand.....if he couldn't help you get through this then I don't think it would be worth giving in another chance once you feel better....I mean if he's not there when you need him the most....what's the point??

I'm glad your going to your doctor for you depression since it's obviously affecting your life.

In the meantime just try and stay busy!!!

Good luck and feel free to post on here whenever you get the urge!!














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