Why does he do this? Please help
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Why does he do this? Please help
| Thu, 07-15-2004 - 12:59pm |
So my ex and I have been broken up for about 4 months. We really don't talk anymore but we still email. Lately we had been emailing almost every day and frankly the emails were getting boring. I have been too much of a whimp to tell him that we shouldn't talk at all and we have discussed being "friends." Anyway, he emailed me on Monday and basically asked about my weekend. It was a fairly boring email and so I decided to not write back for a few days. I was planning on emailing tomorrow just to say that I have been really busy and apologize for not getting back to him sooner. Anyway, I get an email this morning and it says, "I assume we are done talking, which I guess I had seen coming anyway. Best of luck with everything." What is that? I immediately flipped out, picked up my cell phone and left my office to call him. (very irrational of me, I know.) Anyway, he basically told me he wrote that b/c after ignoring his emails that's what he figured I wanted. I said that I have had a lot of stuff going on in my life and was dealing with that and it was nothing personal. He told me that was ridiculous b/c if I was busy I could of dropped him an email telling him that. I guess he is right about that but at this point I don't really think either of us should have those kind of expectations for each other. He said he does want to know whats going on in my life etc but that he was really just calling a spade a spade and that I was clearly blowing him off. I then explained that if I never wanted to speak to him again I would let him know and to not just assume that because I didn't reply to an email for a few days. His tone of voice was kind of bitter and we were really going back and forth about the same points. The conversation ended fine but I really don't understand why he does this to me. Is it just to get a reaction? I am so disappointed that I was so irrational and picked up the phone because I feel like he got what he wanted. Someone please explain this to me... I am just confused.

First you break up, then you continue to communicate in some consistent way (email, texts, IM, phone calls) and then inevitably, one person begins to communicate back less frequently. The other person feels the 'pulling away' and gets upset because now the break up becomes more real. It doesn't matter who feels it first - the dumper or the dumpee - but it happens, Separation Anxiety.
I wouldn't worry too much. If you want to move on, and he wants to move on - then you gotta move on, and there is no other way to do it then to let each other fade away. :)
C