the decision is made.. now HOW AND WHEN?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
the decision is made.. now HOW AND WHEN?
1
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 5:04pm
Hi everyone, I posted this on 'Should I stay or Should I go' but it may be more appropriate here, and I really need fast advice...

After weeks of thought, I have made the final decision to leave my bf of 2 years. I have gotten a lot of advice here, and you're all probably right. I'm too young to be in a relationship that has constant bickering, and I can't be tied down to someone who has so many qualities that bug me. That... and I have feelings for someone else <:/

But I just can't believe this. It's so hard... how do I end something that's been going on so long? How do I tell him? And when?? We're in a long distance relationship and I won't see him for another week and a half... but I feel terrible doing it over the internet (our main means of communication) and we never talk on the phone (we're just not phone people). Should I wait??? I don't know if I can wait that long and pretend everything is just fine.

Also I feel horrible for him.. he's in school right now and his exams start in a few weeks. What if he's devastated? I'm not really 100% sure how he'll react, but I SO don't want to hurt him. He's an amazing guy.. I just don't think he's right for me anymore.

Any advice on how and when I should break the news?? Any suport and help will be appreciated, I am really scared. :(

- Alex

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Thu, 07-15-2004 - 7:11pm
Well Alex coming from the "dumpee" side of it, my advice would be to just be 100% honest with him about how you feel. DO NOT lead him on or give him ANY false hopes that it may work out. It may seem harsh and he will hurt, but at least you will be doing him a favor which will enable him to pick himself up and move on. I am sorry you have to do this, its never easy from either side.

Good Luck!