Any advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2003
Any advice?
2
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 2:53pm
Okay...here's my story.

My breakup was at the end of March. I got over him fairly quickly, and knew I was better off. I still do. He was not right for me at all and I am much happier not having to suffer through a long-distance relationship and all of his emotional baggage.

However, lately he has been hanging out with a lot of people (he's pretty much a reclusive computer geek), most of which are our mutual friends. Suddenly this green demon has come over me, and I'm suddenly EXTREMELY jealous that he goes out and has fun with all our friends (which he only met through me, I might add, and they were my friends first) when here I am, 2 hours away from all of them and my hometown, in the city where I go to school.

So I was wondering if anybody has any advice over how to get over jealousy. I can just feel my blood boil when I know he's out having fun with MY friends, in MY hometown (he's not from there originally), when I really want to be seeing them and be home. I guess it goes without saying that I really don't have a lot of friends here where I live, and I have not dated since we broke up. (Neither has he.)

Thanks in advance...

Alison

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
In reply to: alisonc22
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 6:39pm
Hi,

Did you break up with him? I ask because this sounds exactly what a good friend of mine went through last year. She was dating a guy that lives one hour away (not too long distance but she had lived there and moved to be closer to her new job) and got tired of his crap and having to always drive to see him because he never wanted to drive to her claiming it was too far... although in my estimation it is the same distance.... Anyhow, he didn't have many friends but they would go out with her then work friends all the time. After she dumped him he started hanging out with her friends. He did this because he wanted it to get back to her that he was 'not hurting' and the best way to do that is to portray this to her friends whom he was certain would report this to her. He told a close friend of his (or so he thought) that he was only hanging out with this group because he wanted her to "THINK" he was fine and had moved on. This supposed 'friend' of his told her friends who told her.... :-) I hope I didn't confuse you here. Anyhow, I think he's doing the same thing; don't be jealous, he may be doing this all for show. I realize I could be off base but I don't think so. take care.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
In reply to: alisonc22
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 7:36pm
I can understand your frustration...unfortunately I don't know a quick remedy for jealousy...or I'd be botteling it and selling it and become rich...lol. All I can think of is to try and get out and make new friends where you are now and have fun.....I think it's him having fun while you aren't that's bothering you so much. Good luck and keep us posted!!













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