I broke the no contact rule...
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| Mon, 07-19-2004 - 8:42am |
The conversation was mostly civil, with me asking if she thought there was any chance for one more try. She told me no, that she was in a relationship and that she loved him and he loved her. (After only ONE month). Hearing that, it made me realize several things...but mostly that there is no reason for me to keep hoping that she will call as she said her intentions were to never come back to what we had. There were plenty of other things said too, including the statement that I made that I don't understand how you fall out of love with someone that you have said you will need forever, yadda yadda yadda, and in four weeks claim to be in love with someone else. Not that it matters, but I think she has her feelings confused and it makes me wonder how long her feelings were confused for me, know what I mean?
I know that I can't change her...and there is no reason to even keep worrying about her. Although I miss her and yes, for whatever reason I still love her, I know that now it is really really over and there is no reason to hang on to hope. Will that make it easier? I certainly hope so in some way.
This was always one of the red flags in our relationship...that she was able to move in and out of relationships and even marriages with relative ease. One that I always had in my mind, and was aware of, but one that I thought maybe would be different with me. But, I've always known you can't change people, they can only change themselves. So anyway..thats where it is at.

I was wondering this morning how and if I will ever let go, and I guess I'm still not sure, but I take some comfort knowing that I'm not the only one who feels like this. Thanks for sharing and I wish the very best for you, hang in there.
C
Also it may be good to see that the NO CONTACT rule not always is the best...I would say follow your heart not your head...
Samantha