Could somebody please analyze this
Find a Conversation
Could somebody please analyze this
| Wed, 07-21-2004 - 4:15am |
I know i've started quite a few threads here but I only discovered ivillage a few days ago, am feeling the lousiest I ever have and really need some help.
So, in short, this is the update..I have been dating this guy for a year...we spent 4 great months together in college and then, due to the fact he graduated and we live in different countries started a long distance relationship. Everything was perfect for almost 7 months now and then, after my last visit to him he told me that he would like to break up. We talked, he cried and said he loved me but it is hard for him to be in a relationship where he needs to plan when we will see eachother all the time, see me only once a month and the phonecalls are very expensive as well. Also, we can't move together yet since we are both very young (i am 23 he is 24) and i am still in school and he doesnt seem ready for that step even though i might be.
So what now? We talked yesterday, he cried some more, said he loved me but is getting tired of this rutine...we also decided we would stay in touch and I decided I might call this sunday, just a friendly call.
So what do you think..a good idea, a bad idea, should I wait longer, should I not..
should i hope for something more since i will be closer to him next semester
above all though...how do i stop thinking i will never find somebody as cute and smart as him again..it takes me so long to find somebody i really really like and now that i did, now that i gave my whole heart..man, it's difficult
So, in short, this is the update..I have been dating this guy for a year...we spent 4 great months together in college and then, due to the fact he graduated and we live in different countries started a long distance relationship. Everything was perfect for almost 7 months now and then, after my last visit to him he told me that he would like to break up. We talked, he cried and said he loved me but it is hard for him to be in a relationship where he needs to plan when we will see eachother all the time, see me only once a month and the phonecalls are very expensive as well. Also, we can't move together yet since we are both very young (i am 23 he is 24) and i am still in school and he doesnt seem ready for that step even though i might be.
So what now? We talked yesterday, he cried some more, said he loved me but is getting tired of this rutine...we also decided we would stay in touch and I decided I might call this sunday, just a friendly call.
So what do you think..a good idea, a bad idea, should I wait longer, should I not..
should i hope for something more since i will be closer to him next semester
above all though...how do i stop thinking i will never find somebody as cute and smart as him again..it takes me so long to find somebody i really really like and now that i did, now that i gave my whole heart..man, it's difficult
anyways, thanx for reading, this web site is really an awesome place..

But this fear of not being able to find someone else really shouldn't be a reason why anyone should remain in a relationship. Your guy has understandable reasons why he wants out and you should respect that and try to move on. You should also tell yourself that you're still so young and that you'll have a myriad of opportunities over the years available to you. If you stay stuck on the idea of being with this guy, you might miss out opportunities to be with other people who might be just as good for you.
The bottom line is, keep an open mind about this guy if you must, but also to other possibilities. Who knows what'll happen? You two might be reunited in the future since you say you'll be closer next semester, but then maybe you'll find someone even better suited to you and your present circumstances. Breaking up and getting over your guy may seem impossible to you at this point, but it's possible with time as we all know.
Good luck!