trying no contact...but look at this!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
trying no contact...but look at this!!!!
5
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 8:22am
so I am trying no contact ..haven't talked to my boyfriend in 5 days and we've been 'split up' for a month. I want to be back with him....more than anything.

Please tell me what you think..should i call him?

Hey Amy,



I know that we haven't talked for the last few days but I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of how things are going for you and pray that you are doing well. You probably don't believe me when I say that I am scared and worried along with you, but I am. I think about our situation everyday, relationship and all. I am so sorry that I have placed such pain in your heart and I wish I could stop all of this.



I guess I couldn't sleep tonight and I am not sure for what reason. I guess I feel like you and have the need to talk to someone but I know it only makes it harder on the both of us.



Maybe telling you what I have been up will make me feel a little better.



My party was a success but I found myself babysitting the whole thing and not really getting to enjoy it all. Justin got too drunk and left me with cleanup and dealing with the money situation. Although it was nice to see a lot of people I hadn't in some time, I was extremely stressed for most of the night and it all went too fast.



Today I worked at my grandmothers and replaced her walkway that goes around the side of her house. She was so exited when she saw what I had done and told me that if I were to nothing the rest of my life I would have a fabulous career in landscaping. That made me smile really big. Tomorrow it is supossed to be like 100 degrees again and I am not looking forward to working outside but making money is worth it I guess.



Monday I pitched in a game that was really close and I did everything I could to try and keep us in it. I have been throwing so well I really can't believe it. I have given up one run in the fifteen innings that I have pitched and my confidence is so high I can't believe it. If only I could have been able to display this kind of effort during the regular season. Oh well, that's how things go I guess. This weekend I am scheduled to pitch in a tournament down in missouri and I am hoping to continue my success.



Besides all of this, I am praying almost every hour that you are hanging in there. Like you, I miss hearing about things and just being able to express some thoughts. Just wierd I guess.



Finally, I thought I would throw in the fact that the Cardinals are the greatest ever and the Cubs should take some lessons from Tony. You know you love them. It's ok to admit it.



I hope that we get a chance to talk soon becuase I want to know how you are. If you get the chance give me a call. Take care amy and I send me prayers and love.



adrian

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 10:23am
No, you shouldn't call him. What's changed? Nothing. He doesn't want to get back together, he simply wants to make himself feel better by opening a dialogue with you so he doesn't feel guilty about hurting you.

If you respond at all, it should be with an email saying something like, "please don't contact me for the time being; I need some time to get over you and I would appreciate it if you would respect my wishes. If you change your mind about the two of us, then you should contact me; otherwise, please don't. I'll get in touch with you when I'm ready. Thanks."

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 11:54am
I agree. Don't overanalyze it. I did that to an ex boyfriend once i broke up with, and now regret it btw. I wasn't in love with him, but I loved him as a person, and it really did break my heart to never speak to him again about the daily things going on in my life. But only now do i realize how it hurt him more to contact him to tell him about a party i went to or a band i went to see. this doesn't change things, and you should avoid contact with him if you can manage it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2004
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 12:55pm
To me, this email is saying "hey, just want you to know I'm leading a full life without you". I would respond in a couple of days and say you have been busy and just got to his email...AND THEN add what Sheri said
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2004
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 4:23pm
I totally agree. He's just trying to not feel guilty for hurting you. Don't contact him - it's not worth it! Do not open a dialogue with him unless he wants to work things out and than he will have to contact you. Gosh, can't these men just take a hint and leave us alone! It's going to be hard but totally worth it. Just hang in there!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 10:11pm
I don't think you should call him...not now!! It sounds like's he's trying to aleviate his guilt he feels for ending things. I think if you talk to him now it will just make the healing that much harder on you. I wouldn't even try a friendship with him until your completely over him. If you feel you *must* contact him...just send a short e-mail that point blank says your hanging in there and that it hurts to talk to him now and you'll contact him when you're ready to be friends....if ever (unless you don't want to be friends with him...I just assumed you probably wanted to). Good luck and keep us posted!!













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