the bike story
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the bike story
| Wed, 07-21-2004 - 9:55am |
I dont know what I should do...!
We split up a week ago, we agreed that we wouldnt have any contact at all anymore but then last week my bike broke and I needed it for my work. He has 2 bikes so after a lot of thinking I sent him an email to ask if I could borrow the bike for a week, I really hated doing this but there was no option...anyway, he said: no problem and as soon as he finished work he cycled the bike to my place and we said...hi, how are you .....fine..
i said to him that he looked good and he said to me that iI looked good (not true: I had stress spots!!!AAAAAH) Anyway...then he left running back to his place (quite nice of him, its about 45 minutes if not more) and he said: see you next week then, when I get the bike...
So, tomorrow is that day, a week and a half later, he needs it back for familyvisitors, its fine by me BUT............
In a way I woud love to see him, I am in love with him still, but also I am starting to manage without him just a bit better...I dont have the urge to phone or email him all the time anymore so I think it would be better not to see him anymore. So what I was thinking was to bring the bike to his place myself, when I know he is still at work and then leave a thank you note with it. But on the other side I would love to see him again!!!!!!!!!
Its probaly also the last time cos maybe he's moving to England in August (We live in the Netherlands, he's Italian, me Dutch).
I dont want to miss the change that he sees me and then thinks, wow I missed her, I want her again, but maybe thats just wishfull thinking?
What shall I do???
I would appreciate your advice big time!!!
We split up a week ago, we agreed that we wouldnt have any contact at all anymore but then last week my bike broke and I needed it for my work. He has 2 bikes so after a lot of thinking I sent him an email to ask if I could borrow the bike for a week, I really hated doing this but there was no option...anyway, he said: no problem and as soon as he finished work he cycled the bike to my place and we said...hi, how are you .....fine..
i said to him that he looked good and he said to me that iI looked good (not true: I had stress spots!!!AAAAAH) Anyway...then he left running back to his place (quite nice of him, its about 45 minutes if not more) and he said: see you next week then, when I get the bike...
So, tomorrow is that day, a week and a half later, he needs it back for familyvisitors, its fine by me BUT............
In a way I woud love to see him, I am in love with him still, but also I am starting to manage without him just a bit better...I dont have the urge to phone or email him all the time anymore so I think it would be better not to see him anymore. So what I was thinking was to bring the bike to his place myself, when I know he is still at work and then leave a thank you note with it. But on the other side I would love to see him again!!!!!!!!!
Its probaly also the last time cos maybe he's moving to England in August (We live in the Netherlands, he's Italian, me Dutch).
I dont want to miss the change that he sees me and then thinks, wow I missed her, I want her again, but maybe thats just wishfull thinking?
What shall I do???
I would appreciate your advice big time!!!

The emails are to ask him if he wants to be friends and do things together. I came on this idea from Nikolina. Anyway, sh*t...I feelquite bad about it though because he is still sort of playing games in a way I feel...And thats why it feels like I'm back to square one. Please...I just want to be normal again, he really is f*cking me up, I never had anyone who irritated me and yet I feel much love for at the same time....
I am gonna bring the bike back now....leave it at his place outside (he is at work)
Samie, the stupid girl