This might be helpful to everybody
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| Wed, 07-21-2004 - 10:31am |
I think it is difficult for all of us to let go because we realize that even though there must be somebody else for us out there and things will eventually work out (and all other things we tell ourselves), we just lost a person that is UNIQUE. Never again will we find somebody with the same personality, exactly same qualities, same views..the person with those exact kind of quirks, exact kind of flaws we came to like so much..and that is why, i think, it hurts so much..
So, in my opinion, as I already said, I think we should first come to realization that it is OVER and come to terms with it (the most difficult part, i know) but then we should definitely not lose all contact and as soon as we feel ready get in touch with them again..be careful though, do not call them wearing your heart on a sleeve but call because you care about them as a person, not a lover anymore.
I know this is all difficult to do but it might help you in getting over them if you decide that your reward, for cleansing your heart, will be getting back in touch and saying 'hey, i do not want you back but care about you deeply as a person, let's be friends'.

So the bottom line is -- as long as you are holding hope of getting back together and that is the main reason you are keeping contact, then you may set yourself up for major disappointment.
But no -- no one is advocating that you totally erase someone who was so special to you from your life forever. And if someone's ex has any consideration for them, they would understand and respect NC until the other person is ready. No contact is just a way to heal and regoup.
Lois