Update: I never called...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Update: I never called...
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 5:04pm
My urge to have a conversation subsided and I never called my ex to say I needed to talk. I was really trying to hold back on that because I'm PMSing and we all know how that can wrek havoc on your emotions! Nevertheless, I ran into him again last night at a club. It was a school happy hour, so a lot of our friends were there... At some point we started talking...light conversation about nothing...just because we were around the same group of people. I felt like I came across very happy and confident, just the way I wanted to seem.

This morning, I had an email from him saying how nice it was to see and talk to me, that it seemed like I was feeling better about talking to him and that made him happy. That it would be nice to talk to me again sometime. I replied with this email:

"Can I ask you something? Why do you say these things via email? Your apology about leading me on was via email. We broke up over the phone. It would really mean a lot to me if you were able to communicate these types of feelings to me in person. But if you can't do that, I understand. I hope you have a good weekend, too!"

He replied with a long email that started with "Phone thing, yes bad...." and went to say that he didn't know what I was thinking, but that it was "kind of crummy" to not have me in his life at all, but that if that's what I wanted he understood. What annoyed me is that I told him I would really appreciate it if we could communicate in person and he emailed all this "feeling" stuff to me!

So annoying. I replied and tactfully pointed his use of the word "I" so much in his email and that I wasn't sure how I felt towards him, but that there were a lot of things unsaid and it would be better for me if we talked about it at some point. But, that if he couldn't do that, I understood.

So now I'm feeling...anxious...not because I think we can possibly get back together but because I don't know what it is I really need to talk about. What would I need to hear? Does anyone have any experience with the words from an ex that really give you closure??