no "spark"
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no "spark"
| Sun, 09-26-2004 - 12:12am |
I was in a relationship with a guy for two months. When we first met, things went great. We had such a great time together for about a month. Then when things started to settle down, a "spark" appeared to be missing. The strange thing is that we seemed to share alot of the same views on life. We got along just fine - he always told me I treated him well and I always felt like he fit my prototype of the guy I wanted. We never argued about anything. I'm not too affected emotionally by the break up because the both of us realized there was something wrong, but couldn't figure it out. I'm wondering if anyone has any insight. We had so much in common (views, interests etc) .. was it a case of familiarity breeds boredom? I don't understand how two people who shared so much in common can not have that "spark" in the relationship. It's confusing!

I wish I knew the answer to your question, but I don't. I DO think there is SOME sort of "spark" or "chemistry" that must occur between 2 people for a relationship to work. Will it last forever? No... not necessarily... but I think it's what differentiates "significant others" from being just "friends", or "roommates". As my counselor told me... just because 2 people are nice and get along, doesn't mean they are "right" for eachother.
Just be glad that you both recognized this after 2 months. In my case I stayed for 2 1/2 years & kept hoping that "spark" would appear... or thinking that maybe I was just expecting too much? I was honest with him from the beginning but when I decided to end the relationship it didn't make it any easier for him. He kept wanting to hold on to some hope that one day I would feel the same way he did.... in this case he thought there was a spark.... but the feeling wasn't mutual. It takes two!!
You'll find that "spark" you're looking for when the time is right......
Can you continue to be friends with this guy?