I broke up because he can't love me
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I broke up because he can't love me
| Sun, 09-26-2004 - 2:49pm |
I have been with my partner a year now, and I totally love him and worked hard to keep him , but he has said for the last 5 months that he isn't sure if he wants to be in a relationship even though he says i've done nothing wrong and I am the best partner he's ever had and loves me.I waited and waited in hope that he would see what we have but he still can't answer meI am sooooo confused and can't stop crying. I called it off because I was going mad waiting and felt like I was not good enough, he is upset but has not asked me back.
I need advice please wether to let go or wait longer and how to stop hurting
I need advice please wether to let go or wait longer and how to stop hurting
Missy

You said that your ex has been saying for the past FIVE months that he isn't sure he wants to be in a relationship. Well, he's certainly had enough time to figure that out...it sounds as though he's just kept you around anyways, either out of fear or boredom. You also said that he didn't ask for you back...well that's his loss now. I'm sure you're a great girl who deserves better...please don't wait around for this guy any longer. If it's meant to be, it will be...
It's difficult to stop hurting, believe me...but you CAN and you WILL do it. The pain eases a little bit every day...and over time, you will start to forget why you cared so much in the first place. Or you'll remember, smile and look back fondly on those memories...but you'll still be alright without him in your life. You will move on...I promise.
If possible, try to have no contact with him. I made the mistake of contacting/letting my ex contact me for the past few months, and all it did was make me feel lousy and hold me back from healing. I feel much better and stronger now that we don't have contact...now that I'm not sitting around hoping he'll get ahold of me. I've accepted that it's over between us, and will never be there again. You need to accept that as well...good luck!
Move on and find someone who is sure they want to be with you...who won't keep you hoping and waiting.
I'm in the same predicament you're in but we were together 8 years and he still wasn't sure if he wanted things to progress to the next step. I ended up because it was hurting me waiting and knowing that he's been unsure for a long time. I won't call him because I know nothing will change in just a week but I'm hoping he one day realizes what I have to offer and makes up his mind.
I wouldn't call right away. Give him some time to see how things are without you. Hopefully, he'll realize that life can be better with you.
You're definitely on the right track. Breaking up with him was the best thing you could've done. Now move on.
You may want to pick up and read "He's Just Not that Into You" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. The book and authors were featured last Wednesday (9/22) on Oprah. It will help you to understand guys better and move on when they aren't meeting your needs or acting wishy-washy about their feelings or commitment to you.
You deserve better!
All the best,
Heymum
Thanks again
missy
Thanks again
Missy
Missy