better if he left...dont want him to go!
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better if he left...dont want him to go!
| Mon, 09-27-2004 - 12:58am |
this is my first post....i always read message boards and figure maybe someone here can offer some advice.I am 24 and this is my second long term relationship. My boyfriend (of over a year) and I just broke up on the 24th(Friday night)and he has been living with me for a year now. so we both decided that neither of us were happy although we have a lot of fun togeter, we ended our relationship. Our relationship wasnt bad...but it wasnt great. trouble is , he is still living with me(sleeping on the couch) and i think its harder with him being here everyday to try to get over it, but i dont want to tell him to move out b/c then i will really be alone and he will really be gone for good....should i just let it go and tell him to move out or maybe try to work things out even though hes not really willing to try again? Also i am VERY upset about up breaking up...cry myself to sleep every night and yet it seems to not bother him at all!!

You need closure hun, and you won't get that if he's still living with you. He needs to move out. I know it's a hard thing to do, but you need to tell him to leave. That way you can both sort out what is going on in your heads, cause you can't do that when you are together. I'm sorry for the loss of your relationship. Things will get better....eventually! But you have to take that first step. If he's not willing to try, don't try to force it. You don't want to be part of a relationship where one person doesn't want to be in it, but doesn't know how to leave. trust me. End it now. Let him go. Or at least start to let him go.
Hugs,
Karen
Like everyone else has told you, him moving out is the best thing to do. Seeing him there all the time will just make the pain worse, at least I know it would for me. Then it will just be even harder to get over it and move on. The sooner you two can distance yourselves to figure out what each wants in life and from a long-term relationship, the better. Hang in there, I know that's easier said than done, but one day you'll look back on this relationship as a learning experience. Sorry for your pain, we've all been through it and are here for you. Keep us posted!!!
Its been awhile since my last post but i thought i'd update you all and get an opinion on something. It's been almost a month since we broke up and i'm doing really good. I still see my ex on occasion. he finally moved in with a friend...but still has a key to my house. I tried to get it back by saying my brother was housesitting for me while i went on holidays...but then he offered to house sit! And of course i was too chicken to say no. He moved out to the country...about 20 min from town...and said that when he comes into town he only has my place and his parents place to go to if he need anything...so that makes me feel like he should have a key...but on the other hand...i sometimes am uncomfortable with the fact that he just walks in here like he still lives here. i enjoy seeing him and have accepted the fact that we are friends and never anything more. So i feel like if i ask him to give me his key back...he'll think i have something to hide(like having other men over or something ridiculous like that)and i dont want to hurt his feelings...and have him not come by once in awhile...so yeah...thats my story and any advice would be very appreciated.Thanks!
Change your locks. There is no reason that someone needs a key to your apartment. It would be completly inappropriate for him to get upset about that. You need to do what is best and most secure for you!