Why is it so easy for him to dismiss me
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Why is it so easy for him to dismiss me
| Tue, 09-28-2004 - 3:52am |
Well my ex and I have been broken up for 3weeks this coming up thursday,I did something that I probably shouldn't have which was see him last Tuesday. Well, it felt good to see him for him to hold me and kiss, and although even at that moment half of me was saying you know this is a bad choice the other part of me was saying shut up it feels good to have him close again. While both sides of me where going at it my ex and I where too, and it just felt right, but then he startd talking about going to his house and all this and i was like noooooooooooooooo way. For that moment it felt like we where back together and everything was normal he told me how much he missed me and that he loved me and it just felt soo right. Ok so he started calling me like everyday like a couple of times a day, and I wondered why he just started calling me so much suddenly that I begin thinking and before I knew it he was telling me excatly what I wanted to know.... without me saying a word, the other girl that he was talking to was giving him some trouble, and so basically he was coming back to his security blanket good old lynn... Well that hurt, bad which I felt like it would because it was bad a choice to see him and then to start accepting his phone calls, but anyway so now where at this wierd point where he feels the need to tell me about what's going on with this other girl and I am like what the heck, where not friends, and I have no intention of being his friend. That made me mad so basically whenever anyone calls or anything he puts me to the back burner leaving me out in the cold, and it hurts. He called me and although he said he was just kidding he said this to me.. He was talking about maybe going out again and then in mid converstation he says.. I don't know if your worthy of goinh out with me and so I said some curse words, and then he said I was just kidding... He also told me not too long ago, while in converstation about relationships, he was like well you where never married so you have always been single and I was like what the heck, I told him well no I was not married to you but I definitly felt like i was in a commited relationship, I guess I was in it alone thanks a lot and he says no I felt like I was in a relationship too..after.. I was like what's up with this joker.. I dont know I feel like I am healing because I don't feel hurt so much anymore but I think for some reason that i just gave myself a false since of hope and I am not back to ground zero again... so I am looking for the pain to come again and even stronger this time... I dont know what to do , because I feel like if I ask him for no contact again then I will want to contact him before he would even attempt to contact me because he is involved in talking to someone, any advice on getting back on the healing process and getting rid of my zero, so I can get a real hero.....this hole thing sucks big time...
Lynn

He's treating you - precisely how you regard you - as evidenced by your actions regarding him.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
You were doing so well, and you can get back to where you were if you just start NC and let the real healing begin. Walk away and don't look back. He's had plenty of chances to be the man you wanted him to be. He blew it every time. You deserve better and you won't get it while you remain stuck on him.