any advice? a lil confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
any advice? a lil confused
3
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 10:20am
well here is my situation. me and my ex have been broken up now for almost 3 weeks. And in theose 3 weeks ive seen him at least 3-4 times. weve hung out kissed talked alot. the other nite we got together. a lil tipsy both of us. but he was tellin me how he missed holding me and it felt so good and right when he did. and he just seems still interrested but maybe scared. i want ask him 2 the movies but im not if its too informal or too soon to ask and just hang out. he called yesterday just to talk. im not sure if he still carss or just wants me ther as a convience. i really love him a lot but hes confusing me. any advice on ifshoudl hang out or not ?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 11:02am
So what is really going on Aries? You and your man broke up, over what? You've only been separated for 3 weeks, which is not a long time but you and him are still seeing each other, having sessions, etc. It doesn’t sound like you are broken up? Do you want him in your life, because it sure seems like you do? You must figure out on both parts his, and yours. I wouldn’t ask him to the movies because all that is going to lead to is a good night, but the next morning it will be the same bull shi*! Your confused now, just imagine if you go out, he tells you all the things you want to hear does all the right things for that night, but then not next or the day after that. You'll be even more confused. I would give it some time first, time for you to reflect on the relationship, first find out why you broke up, is it worth salvaging, and are you both willing to give that 110%?? Otherwise you are just going to hurt yourself, and waste your time. Please be very cautious, and strong. When we fall in love we usually give up our strengths, don’t we? We allow ourselves to be weak, simply because we want our men to be strong, but that doesn’t always happen. And who is going to pick us up when we fall? No one but ourselves!!

And of course our buddies on the message board!!! ( :

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 3:54pm
Sounds to me like you haven't really broken up. Who broke things up? Was it him, you or was it mutual? How long were you together?

If he left you and you're still hurting, the only way you're going to heal is by not seeing him anymore. It's a hard thing to do, but if he left you you've got to do it. Otherwise it sounds like you're in this limbo, friends with benefits kind of arrangement that tends not to work well for most women.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 11:29am
well..... as of last night i am not friends with him. i told him i need 2 be by myself right now and not see him. or talk 2 him. it had 2 have been the hardest thing for me 2 do. but... it feels much better even thought im hurting. im keepin my sanity. i love him and all.and knowing one day i may have 2 hear about his new grl will kill me. but for me 2 keep kissin him and seeing him a lot only gives me wishful thinking and he doesnt want that either cause he said he wants 2 be friends and that kiss was in the momeent and he didnt really look into it. and knowing he didnt have any emotion in the kiss kills me cause i honeslty think hes hiding it so he doesnt fall anymore. cause hes not with me. cause i honestly believe to kiss an ex u have 2 have some type of feeling. but he told me. u have my email and number . call me when ur ready . so at leats he seems sincere in the fact he does wanna be friends and he came out 2 talk 2 me about it in person shows a lot and that he may care . anything u can tell me or any advice cause i really love him but giving him up is so sad and depressing, and complicating. anyone help ?