Help

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004
Help
2
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 5:13pm
My boyfriend who I was going out for almost a year just broke up with me. He said our time was over, and that he had "changed". He also said that he didn't love me anymore, but I think there is more to this situation. I think that he was pressured by me wanting forever with him, and he is also pressured with the way his life is right now. I want to get him back because I believe that he is the one for me. I need to understand why he did this when he seemed so happy with me. I don't believe that he stopped loving me soon, but I believe there is something else going on with him right now, and I just need to figure things out. I need to find a way back into his heart. If anyone has any advice about a situation like this, please help me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2004
In reply to: jacks07
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 6:05pm
Hi, i really feel for you as my situation is very similar. All I can really do is offer you the advise that people have given me which is let him miss you, hard as it is try to refrain all contact and don't show him your'e pining. I think you maybe right if you feel you've put pressure on for commitment, as men are so scared of this and they step backwards . He probably does still love you but needs to be reminded of what you had, and by having this time apart it may help. try and concentrate on yourself for a while and remember what it was that brought you together instead of finding out the answers, the chances are he doesn't know why he feels this way himself. Give it some time and things may become clearer but use this time to develop what you want and need.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
In reply to: jacks07
Tue, 09-28-2004 - 6:54pm
Welcome to the board!! If you've come for help...then you've came to the right place. This is a great board for dealing with and surviving break-ups and we'll do our best to help you through this difficult time.

I'm so sorry to hear about your break-up....I know it's tough and you're going through several emotions. I know you don't agree with your bf's decison to end things....but you have to learn to accept it and respect his descion. You can't make him change his mind....he has to do that on his own. That doesn't mean he will though....and if he doesn't change his mind then you'll have to accept that to. But we're here to help no matter what. I find it easier if I go on as if he's never coming back and then if he does it will be a plesant suprise but it you go on thinking he'll come back and he doesn't....it will just be that much more devastating.

And no I don't think he just "quit" loving you but he has his reasons for ending things and maybe one day he'll share them with you...but then again he may not. But no matter what we're here to help. There are people here going through simillar things and I'm sure they'll be more then welcome to share their stories with you and you can help each other through this. Gain from each other's experiences....get stregnth from them, and always a bending ear. Good luck and keep us posted.

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