breaking up very soon
Find a Conversation
breaking up very soon
| Sat, 10-02-2004 - 2:48pm |
I don't know how to go about this. My BF and I have been together 16 months, and I want to leave. (He's 32(acts like he's 15), I'm 24, he has a 10yr old daughter.) I feel sooooo incredibly stuck, even though I do have a way out (back to moms.) He doesn't treat me well anymore, he has no consideration for me, my feelings, my thoughts, my needs or my money. I want to leave (we live together w/his bro & wife) but I don't know HOW. And I feel guilty because he does rely on me financially (because although he makes more than enough money, he cant manage it and it gets stuck to me to get things paid, even though I make literally HALF of what he does.) I have tried to talk to him about me moving out and us possibly trying to stay together thru it, but he just got mad and defensive and wouldn't talk to me. That was a month ago. As of yesterday, I landed a great job with much higher pay, which will enable me to make it on my own. I just don't know how to leave, how to talk about it, how to make him understand that he has hurt me too much to make me want to be with him much longer if he doesn't change. (our last conversation about him hurting me and not listening to me led him to change for about 2 weeks.) My mom has (of course) extended me an open-ended inviation to move back in with her, which is the same distance to work as it is here. I want to...but...I feel like he is going to argue with me soo much that he might make me feel too guilty and like I need to stay, even though he doesn;t need me. So, do I just move most of my stuff out while he's gone? Or talk about it forever to try to make him understand? The only problem I have with moving out while he is at work is that we broke up once before, and I had done that. I waited til he got home from work and told him I was leaving, and he cried and fussed, and actually convinced me to move back in within 2 weeks. (I'm not the strongest person, I guess.) So....I don't know what to do?!?!?! I am sick of being treated like this, but I know he is not going to understand at all. How do I go about doing this??

You've got a great new job. You've got a place to stay. You're young and you have your entire life ahead of you. You're too young to be wasting time on a financially irresponsible loser who doesn't care enough about you to make positive changes in his life.
Be clear with him and give him one more chance. If he doesn't take it it's his fault.
You CAN do THIS. You deserve better.