Need some positive advice
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Need some positive advice
| Mon, 10-04-2004 - 10:42pm |
Hi, I broke-up with my boyfriend more than two months ago, but we remained friends and kinda of got back together and last week was hell, he was a major a-hole and that just got me to be clingy and now, we have decided to really end this. and i know he will want to be friends, and all i want to do is call, but he manipulated too much and i have to keep my pride for once, but it is so difficult, i feel like how drug addicst must feel when they are trying to stop. I can't concentrate on school, I started having nightmares of us (i can't get away from him even in my sleep). I am so scared of failing my classes, I don't want to move back home, I miss him, his warm body, I want to convince myself that he is no good, everyone tells me that, but I can't believe someone who is supposed to love you and stays by you for almost three years would be so manipulative or destructive towards me.
If anyone wants to offer me positive advice please do so, or similar stories

If it's any reassurance, please know that when anyone goes through a break up with one they deeply love at anytime in there life, the feelings are similar:
- how can I go on without this person in my life; this person that knew so much about the details of my life, that conversations were effortless because they already had the background
- when you wake up, you have an empty feeling in your stomach because you know that person exists, but you will not have contact with them that day
- the longing of feeling of their touch; how can anyone ever touch you or make you feel the way he did
- that lonely feeling of when the weekend is approaching and you know you will not have "that someone" to do all those weekend activities together
- that feeling of dismay and despair that you will never meet anyone again that made you feel as that person did
The feelings, though some stronger than the other, are similar among people. I know because I have gone through several breakups (and currently going through one). They suck. Plain and simple.
There is nothing I can say that will make you feel better. Only time will heal your hurt and longing. What I can offer that has helped me is to be as sad and hurt as possible. Cry your eyes out and feel every emotion you can and write down exactly what you are feeling. I strongly recommend going to the local bookstore and buying the cutest journal you can - spare no expense - and buy the funkiest pen that suits your personality and write! cry! write!
Once you have done that, do something for yourself that you have never done before. When I split up with a boyfriend several months ago, it was near valentine's day and I organzied a get together at my apt with several single girlfriends I knew casually. Some of these girls are now my closest friends and they are a blast! Join a gym, sign up with a personal trainer, go running, get a makeover, take a wine tasting class, get a massage, organize a get together with your friends.
Most important of all is to take care of yourself.