Does more experience make it easier?
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Does more experience make it easier?
| Thu, 10-07-2004 - 1:04pm |
Just curious....
Do people who have experienced break ups numerous times find it easier? I dated/married/divorced my high school "sour"heart, so I haven't had much dating experience. A recent breakup w/my bf got me wondering..... if I had dated a lot in high school, college, etc... would it have been easier to deal with?

In another way it's harder though. When you've had as many breakups as I've had (about ten) you just sort of get tired and begin to think that it's just never going to happen and you develop of a sort of "why don't I just give up on love already" kind of mentality.
All of my breakups weren't difficult. Usually when I decided the guy just wasn't right for me for one reason or another and I ended it I recovered pretty quickly. It's those few where I really loved the guy but he was treating me badly or couldn't really give me what I wanted, those really hurt ...
So I guess my real answer is it depends. Sometimes experience makes it easier, sometimes not. It depends on where you are in your life, what the other person was like, how long the relationship lasted, how close you were, etc.
Interesting question.
The key thing for anyone is to not become jaded or bitter, I have friends like that who think that every guy is a jerk who is just going to cause them heartache and are always second guessing anything he does. You can't live like that and I feel sorry for women who think that way. You should always be careful with your heart and pay attention to making sure your needs are met when you date someone, just don't go into a new relationship thinking it will automatically be a dissapointment. Just my two cents for the day :)
T
I just have had one relationship, which is over, but I feel like I leart a lot from it. I realised how naive I was, guys say many things that they really don't mean (like I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, etc.), so next time that I listen to the same, no matter how wonderful and honest a guy might seem, I will know for sure that he might change his mind.
What is causing me a lot of pain now is the fact that I thought my ex really meant all the things he said. Next time it happens, I will be full awared of this and it shouldn't make suffer again.
I really don't understand how someone cannot learn from her experiences. It is incredible that some people can repeat the same pattern every time they have a relationship.