How Do I ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
How Do I ?
2
Wed, 10-13-2004 - 7:39am
I think I love my ex boyfriend.. but he has done some not so nice things and he continues to definately not act as a friend. The tension between us is too much .. as much as I would like to erase my memory .. I cant. I wake up everyday thinking about him and I catch myself during the day thinking about him or the events we have gone through.. if someone could give me som advice or tips on how to get this guy outta my head.. I would appreciate it. Im soo sick of waking everymorning with a sad feeling and him all in my head. Thank you!!

Michelle
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2004
In reply to: ivmichelle2004
Wed, 10-13-2004 - 2:30pm
Oh hun, I definitely feel for you...

because I know exactly how you are feeling! It is SO hard to let go and move on, isn't it? My ex has been treating me horribly ever since we broke up...and even though he's obviously moved on (he has a new girlfriend), I just can't seem to...

Like your ex, mine has done some shady things that I never knew about until we broke up...you would think that knowing this would make it easy for me to forget him. But it doesn't--even though I KNOW I'll be better off without him in the end.

I still think about my ex all the time too. Sometimes I have really mean thoughts...I'm still really angry with him for lying to/cheating on/hurting me. I still feel like he owes me closure...but I'm beginning to see that he will never give me that. He doesn't have the decency in him to even respond when I try to contact him...he will never admit that he did anything wrong, or apologize. He has always blamed me for what happened between us and I'm sure that will never change, no matter how hard I try. I used to blame myself for all of it too...and while I still know that I didn't handle things very well, I'm trying to make myself stop feeling so guilty. He had me convinced that he had done nothing wrong, and that I was the bad guy...but I can see now that we were both at fault. I just hate that there's so much tension between us...not that we ever see each other or even talk. But I don't like leaving things like this...knowing that we ended on horrible terms. I don't want him to hate me (even though he's a jerk) and I don't want him to think that I hate him...because honestly, I do want him to end up happy. I do get jealous about his new girlfriend...but if he's found someone special, then good for him. I'm glad for him despite all the hurt he's caused me...and I would hope that he would feel the same way if I met someone. But who knows, right? We shouldn't care what our ex'es think of us...it's just hard.

We've just gotta keep our heads up and continue living life, right? I know we can do it...it's all a matter of time. Good luck with your situation and take care :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: ivmichelle2004
Wed, 10-13-2004 - 3:31pm
i understand where you guys are both coming from, I am in the same exact place. The only thing that keeps me going is that old syaing, "everything happens for a reason." I've come to realize, even though it is killing me, that there is someone out there that I am supposed to be with and it is NOT my EX! I know right now I need to be single and grow and do all the cliche stuff people say when you break up from a relationship. and you know what, i'm kinda glad b/c I have NEVER been single long enough to enjoy being single! and i know that one day when I am supposed to meet someone or be with someone then they will be there. Timing is everything, and right now I can't get what I want with my Ex and to be perfectly honest I don't want him! he NEVER appreciated me and I know that there are guys out there that will and do! Also, I have been reading this book called, "the language of letting go" it's a book for co-dependency but it has helped me immensely!