just friends??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2004
just friends??
2
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 3:34pm
Hello everyone,

Well my bf and i just broke up 2 weeks ago. We brok up on Sept 25. the reason why we broke up was that he relilezed he was not ready for my lifestyle even though he has delt with it for the past 6 months (we lived together for the whole time of our realtionship) my lifestyle was that i had a child also the second reason was that he was going to get a job in Toronto. So on Oct 1 we moved all his stuff out to My friends place where he had been paying rent the past 6 months just never stayed there. and he flew to toronoto for the job interview and he phoned me and told me all about it while he was stil in toronto. That night we both agreed that we were going to drown our sorrows in alchol. The next day (sat oct 2) he phoned me at 7 in the morning to tell me that some chick from were he works was styaing over because it was a police that they had to house other company members when they were in town instead of a hotel. so i was ticked and was very upset and we hung up then a couple hours later he phones me back and says that he doesnt want this girl to break up what we have and that it was a mistake to break up and that really wasnt what he wanted it was just the heat of the moment argument and that he was willing to try again if he didn't get the job in toronto. So on sun the girl leaves. Mon he phones me and tells me he didnt get the job and he was pissed so he came over that night and we had dinner and spent the night toghther like we use to. tues comes along and i wake up go to work and same with him then when he is at work he phones and says what we did last night was wrong. and that we needed to talk about it so he comes over on tues and we talk and we agree to take things slow and just see what happens if we end up together again we will but he is will to try again with my lifestyle just a lot slower. So on tues night after he goes home we talk and we tell each other we love each other. Wed moring he leaves for montreal for training and i text message him and no reply until the next day and it was short he just says he was on his way out for a couple of drinks. He comes back late friday night and phones me up and says he has a new gf. I was very very upset accused him of cheating but he says that they didnt do anything becuase he couldnt until he told me. And it took him 3 hours to tell me that it was the girl that had spent the night the weekend before. So i was more furious. And told him i didnt want to talk to him no more and that i would be over to drop off his things tomorrow after he got off work and that he had to move out of my friends place. I go over there satuday afternoon and drop off all his things he tells me he stil loves me and that if i didnt have my daughter we would still be together but that part of my life is never going to change. So my phone rings and it is and another ex im trying to hook up my friend with and i answer with him right there. I told him i would have to phone him back. After i get off the phone he freeks out and says he never want to talk to me again see me again or have anything to do with me and that he loves this new girl. I ask him how can he love someone so quick he says it just feels right. And this chick has already asked him to marry him. He says he hasnet answered yet but after i answered my phone call that he was going to marry her to piss me off. So we parted saysing that we were never going to talk again ever end of story. i go out and get right liqued up and i guess i eneded up phoneing him twice that night. And left him some messages that i miss him and i love him. So he phoned me back on sunday and we talked and stuff just the usual whats up and stuff. Monday we talk again on the phone as friends even though we both said that we were not going to talk. Tues comes along he text messages me to not phone today because he has company. Wed he phone 2-3 times and we talk but our last conversation he told me that he never wanted to see me talk me or have anything to do with me because it is none of my buisness and that i should not be asking when he is moving out of my frieds place. It procced into a blam match for hour and a half and he made me feel like crap and everything was my fault. It eneded with a nasty good bye and a we will never talk again and i never want to see your face again. I hung up i was very upset for a few hours theni phoned him and told him i didnt want to end on such bad terms and that we should be civil so he says sorry obout making me feel like crap and that we both just need time apart to get over one another. Today he text messages me that he is leaving to go to montreal for 3 days. I dont know what to do with him do i keep him as a friend with always the hope to get back toghter. or drop him like a hot potatoe. Im so stuck on him i cant get over him i dont know how please help
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2004
In reply to: grock698
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 3:48pm
I forgot to mention that this was totally unexpected and that we loved each other very much and we rarely ever fought told each other we loved each other every day he would always send me text message and phone me and tell me how much he missed me and wanted to be here with me up until his very last trip to montreal where he met her. he has never done a thing to hurt me and has always showed how much he loved me.

Thank you for the help everyone

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
In reply to: grock698
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 5:43pm
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I have recently broke up with my ex of 4 years and after a few weeks decided I really loved him and wanted him back. He said he didnt want the relationship, just wanted to be friends. Its funny how he can be intimate with me and then the second were done, were "just friends". I got so emotionaly hurt for a month trying to get him back and show him we could make it through these hard time, but he told me there was too much bad from the past to make it right. But at the same time he gives me hope that we can hook up in the future. At the end he was talking to other females telling me its none of my business cause they are just friends. I love him so much that I was willing to try and just be friends hoping he would wake up one morning and realize I was the one for him. As much as it hurts to think of him not being mine anymore, I have to let him go. If you push someone into a relationship then its not for the right reasons. I wouldnt want to get back into a relationship just to be treated like crap or not get the same effort that I'm putting into it. It will just be more heartache later. I know its hard believe me I'm going through it right now. As I'm typing these words I dont want to believe them myself...but time will pass and we will all be stronger and much wiser people if we learn and grow from our past relationships.