Feedback on BF's behavior

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Feedback on BF's behavior
2
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 2:08pm
Basically, I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year. For the last 3 months he has become more and more distant, rude, and uninterested. I got it, he's going to treat me like crap until I break it off. And I will, but because of his childness it has made me so hurt and ANGRY!! I guess I'm just wondering what everyone thinks I should say to him upon this breakup. I want to make clear that I'm hurt and angry, and that his behvoir is unacceptable. I know it sounds stupid, but I don't want him to think he "won", that this is how adults end things. Has anyone else gone through this??
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 2:52pm
Hon....listen...if he "cared" about you as a person - he wouldn't be treating you this way, would he? No. If your emotional state was important to him - he wouldn't be acting this way towards you.

It's that you're not a priority, you are of no value to him - that has him treating you as he does.

And if you want your dignity and self-respect - what you don't do is go making a huge scene, where you're yelling and screaming, outlining every indignity and hurt feeling that you've had as a result of his actions...while he sits there and goes "so what big deal, get out already" - or just walks off, leaving you screaming and crying.

You already know what it is that you don't like - he doesn't like, admire, respect, trust, or care about you as a person.

If you do care about you as a person - just walk off, spend several months finding otu within you while you "stayed and pursued" his attention - why you were denial of the facts....and then go out and start dating from that new self-awareness and self-responsibility driven perspective.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 3:17pm
I think you should just tell him that it is clear by his behavior that he no longer wants to be in the relationship and you want much more from a relationship than he is giving so you are going to move on and look for someone who wants the same things that you do....


I think you will make more of an impression on him if you act calm and detached...if you get all hysterical that will give him the power...

so good luck and let us know how it goes....stand up for yourself and walk away with your dignity....trust me...you will feel much better if you do it this way