Its All My Fault!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2004
Its All My Fault!!
4
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 3:31pm
I was in the perfect relationship. 2 an 1/2 years of total bliss. He loved me and I loved him. I started to look at all of the negatives. I became unhappy on my own. I started the fights. I couldn't look at the good, what we had. Then, another guy paid attenion to me and I messed everything up. I thought that a relationship with this other man would be better than my other relationship. I broke up with him, ignored him, all because of the bliss of another mans attention. He has proven himself not to care and I want my ex-boyfriend back so badly. But he hates me, he said that he would never get back together with me for reasons. It breaks my heart and I can't stop thinking about what would have been. I messed it up for nothing. Now I am single and never been so alone. I haven't talked to him and I yearn for him. What should I do. I am sure that he has found someone else by now, but I am the only one right now with true love for him. I am so depressed, I can't function, I just lie in bed and wonder and cry. Please help me!!!

Ash
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 9:51pm
Let it go honey and move on. We all live with mistakes we wish we would have handled differently and that things would have worked out. But this is not a perfect world and we are far from perfect beings. We all make mistakes and instead of living with it like a spike through our soul, we accept them as a lesson to our life and we don't do it again. This is not the end of the world and he is not the only man on this earth. There will be someone else, someone else you can be happy with and not turn to self destruction, but you're going to have to figure out why you did what you did and work on it before you'll be ready to step into having a significant other again. Let the tears come, mourn the loss, let him go and take a deep look at the person in the mirror and have a talk with her and figure out why you have a self-destruct mode. Take care of yourself, things will be ok, but it's going to take time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 12:38am
I couldn't have agree with you more. The first thing you really have to do is figure out what you want in a relationship, what are the things you looking for. And maybe analyze what your previous mistakes and learn from it, so can move on to be a better person for yourself and for your next partner. I hope everything is going well for you!


Amberrsan

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 11:08am
Read "He's scared, She's scared". Get it from the library or buy it. Other people on this site have suggested it as well. It is outstanding for explaining our patterns in relationships and giving ideas for overcoming our unhealthy choices. For now, learn from your mistake and vow not to repeat it in the next relationship. You do need to back off from your previous boyfriend though. He's suffered enough pain and you inflict more upon him by insisting on remaining in his life instead of allowing him to heal and move on. If you really care about him, think about his happiness more than your own this time around. We all make mistakes. Don't wallow in regret, just learn and do better next time, o.k.? Good Luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 10:35pm
Welcome to the board!! I guess this is one of those situations where you don't know what you have until it's gone. I'm sorry you're hurting but I can't blame your ex for being angry as I'm sure you hurt him when you left him for another man. You could tell him your feelings if it makes you feel better but I wouldn't expect him to reciprocate your feelings. I think the best thing you can do is try to get some closure and move on. I know it hurts but it time you'll feel better and will be able to appreciate a good thing when you see it. Good luck and keep us posted!!









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