Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2005
Confused
5
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 4:44pm
I am almost 27 years old, and have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. We have been living together for 2 years, and I am so confused right now. I have a good job, and I make more money than my boyfriend does, and for the last 2 years that we have been living together I have been paying all the bills. He makes okay money, but he keeps going out and buying things that he doesn't need, (he owes over $400.00 for tools that he is buying from Cornwell, he has to pay them $50.00 a week), and these are tools that he only uses to work on his parents car because he's not a mechanic, and he doesn't have a car of his own. He never offers to help with any of the bills, and if I bring it up he gets mad and walks away. I have let him walk all over me, and I keep thinking that he will change, but it has been 2 years, and he hasn't. How do I break up with a man who won't talk or listen to me? Also how do I get over him, I do love him with all my heart and am scared to death to be alone!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
In reply to: dmmckit96
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 4:49pm
You are not alone and if you are unhappy you need to do something about it for yourself.
You were single before him. You can get through it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: dmmckit96
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 5:41pm

"How do I break up with a man who won't talk or listen to me? "

Something tells me when you tell him his meal ticket just expired and he needs to get his mootching ass out of your appartment that he'll listen.

"He never offers to help with any of the bills, and if I bring it up he gets mad and walks away."

Yes, men rarely like to be confronted about their dishonorable character flaws.

"I have let him walk all over me, and I keep thinking that he will change, but it has been 2 years, and he hasn't."

People who are content are not motivated to change. You've been his sugar momma for two years, he'd be a damn fool to give that up! Think about it. He owns you. He can treat you like crap, take take take all he wants, and never has to contribute anything more than you require, which lucky for him isn't a lot, all because you're "scared to death to be alone". You think he doesn't know that and play off of it? You are better of alone with yourself and in good company, than together with someone who only values your paycheck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2005
In reply to: dmmckit96
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 3:32pm
Thanks so much for taking the time to respond! You said, "You were single before him. You can get through it.", and I have never thought of it that way. I was single before him, and I was a better person :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2005
In reply to: dmmckit96
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 3:35pm
Thanks so much for your help. You are absolutely right, I guess it just takes someone outside of my family and ring of friends to get me to see the light :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
In reply to: dmmckit96
Mon, 01-24-2005 - 10:44pm
I know it's hard but you just need to tell him you've been trying to make the best of your relationship but that it just isn't working anymore and you are breaking up with him.
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