He left me 8 1/2months into pregnancy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
He left me 8 1/2months into pregnancy
2
Sat, 01-29-2005 - 4:47am

My boyfriend made a choice this week to break-up I can't explain the hurt I feel right now. He said that he wasn't ready for a commitment and if we stayed together he would end up hurting me. All I could think was why now were having a baby and now you decide that you want to leave me. I've cried myself to sleep and woke up cring. I'm just so hurt and I try to remain clam as possible for the baby, but it's so hard. I love him and have but my all into this realationship. I don't know what to do this is my first child and I really thought we would beat the odds and be together. I feel so along and lost and he acts as if he fine and it's not borthering him and I'm just broken inside. It scares me to think ahead whats yet to come. Like will get another girlfriend? will he be there for me and the baby? I have a baby to look forward to and I should be happy but this has caused me to feel overwelmed and scared. If anybody has any advice or words of wisdom I would love to read them.

Thanks in Advance
Shanae

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 01-29-2005 - 11:21am

What an unimaginable bastard.

This is devistating for you and I can't imagine the pain and betrayal you're experiencing right now. You are about to have a baby. Alone. As horrible as this situation is, you now have a very adult life altering decision to make. Have you thought at all about giving the baby up for adoption into a loving stable two parent home? Do you think you can even fathom the heartache and hardship of being a never married mother? The impact this will have on your child? How will you support yourself and the child? You are going to have to sacrifice your wants and needs for the wants and needs of the child and the childs best interest. But that begs to question, what is the childs best interest? A never established broken home of uncertainty, no stability, and visitation with dad at best, father abandonment at worst? That's your current situation. You don't even know if your X is going to be there for you and the baby. Is that the situation you want to bring a child into? Heartbreaking life altering decisions must be made by you. You've got a much bigger fish to fry than your X breaking up with you, BECAUSE your X broke up with you. That set into motion decisions and choices and obligations in far greater priority and urgency in being dealt with. What are you going to do? Don't even entertain the fantasy of your X begging forgiveness and coming back when making your decision on what to do with your child. Your child deserves more consideration than a possibility of your X's change of mind, because it's very life is at stake.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Sun, 01-30-2005 - 6:54pm
ALL I REALLY HAVE TO SAY IS HANG IN THERE SWEETIE STAY STRONG AND THAT YOUR NOT ALONE YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY WILL HELP YOU AS MUCH AS THEY CAN IM SURE.
ONE MORE THING HE ACTS ALL TOUGH LIKE HE DOESNT CARE MY EX IS DOING THE SAME, I BROKE UP WITH HIM AND HE IS ACTING LIKE HE DOESNT GIVE A DAMN BUT NOW IM ACTING LIKE I DONT GUESS WHO'S THE ONE CALLING ME AND BEING ALL SWEET NOT ME! HIM!! JUST GIVE HIM BACK HIS OWN MEDICINE BABE SHOW HIM YOU CAN LIVE WITHOUT HIM AND THAT YOU DONT NEED HIM EVEN IF YOU FEEL AS THOUGH YOU DO SCARE HIM & IF HE EVER CARED ABOUT YOU HE'L GET WORRIED AND RUN BACK.
I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST I TRULY DO, PLEASE TAKE CARE AND WRITE IF YOU NEED TO TALK ITS GOOD TO GET IT ALL OUT.
STAY STRONG! XOXO